Words have meanings, and how we use them decides our thought, our bias and our purpose. Words are powerful and they have the magic to persuade us to try and think differently. I’ll give you an example, There are two teenagers, you ask the same question “Do you drive?” Teenager 1 says “No.” Teenager 2 says “not yet.” They are both conveying the same meaning, but Teenager 2 conveys “hope” to be driving soon. Big difference.
Academics train us to use our words carefully and yet it fails miserably. The world teaches us to hear words and yet never teaches us how to “listen” to them.
To listen to a word, we need to pause. It is 2020, there is no time for pause.
2020, is the era of The Woman. Is it? It is 2020 and here we are, still using the phrase “Working Mom.” When I was working and when I wasn’t and now when I am working again, the phrase continues to bother me to the core. What does a “Working Mom” mean anyways? Just because a woman has a kid, doesn’t mean she becomes someone else. It simply means that she is a woman who has a kid and a job, they are two separate entities, so why is it better or harder?
Many teenagers have a job at 13, do we start calling them Working Teens? When men become dads, do we call them Working Dads? If we have gay friends, do we introduce them as such? Then why do we need to define women? The sad part of this story is most women don’t find anything wrong with the phrase, and maybe it is so because it creates an identify for them. An identity that is superior to the SAHM.
The media created the phrase “Mommy Wars,” setting up the working moms against the SAHM and thus building the negative connotations. The working mom highlighted how hard it is and so did the SAHM. The working mom emphasized on how she never has time for herself and so did the SAHM. The SAHM said “she wonders if she made the right decision” and the working mom said the same. Both feel judged, both are overwhelmed, both feel they are taken for granted and they both love their kids more than anything in the world. See what’s happening here… Both women are saying the same thing but using different words and while they are hearing each other, neither is listening.
Ladies, we need to stop identifying ourselves as “working mothers” and the struggles we face. YES, its hard and yes it’s a mad rush to pick up from day care but it is also true, that the SAHM is working equally hard. Sure, she doesn’t have to make a presentation to the company board but that’s a choice she made, so let’s stop penalizing her for those choices and bring back the respect by letting a woman be herself.
Let us STOP calling ourselves Working Moms. We are simply moms who chose to get a job. That’s all.
To the SAHM – if anyone asks you “Do you work?” Please stand tall and tell them, YES, you have X startup(s) and X being the number of kids. They may still judge you, but you have conveyed the message and cleared your path. This is a tried and tested formula 🙂 Words matter, use them to your advantage.
Every woman values respect and while we are in control of our identities, it is also true that our identity is influenced by how the world sees us. Words matter. Let us use them to realign ourselves to think of every woman as just that, a woman.
I guarantee you the day we can end this divide is the day the glass ceiling will come crashing down. The day we bring back the respect to the SAHM is the day when WE all will rise.