44 years and counting…

“She stops staring and instead smiles at the mirror, for now she is a year older and a year wiser. She is no longer afraid or shy because she knows it’s not the leaps and bounds but the one confident step every time that makes the journey possible.  And for that she is thankful not to herself or god, but to her better half. He doesn’t surprise her with roses and diamonds but yes he took the shy little girl by her hand and continues to introduce her to the confident girl that was and in some ways is still hiding inside her.  He tells her that at this point she should do what she likes.” The Shy Little Girl  looks at the mirror again and realizes she’s been on this planet for 44 years now. She compliments herself.  The dark circles, the grey hair, the extra pounds, the sunspots, the fading eyesight, she embraces them all because they are a gentle reminder of a continued life. She continues to stay wary of the crowds, but with every passing day she is losing her camouflage, and sometimes that worries her. It worries her not because she will be found, but more because she will no longer have the super-power to be invisible.

Where did time go? It seems like yesterday that I, as a tween was taking my first step of independence as my mom said her goodbyes to me in my hostel. It seems like yesterday when I met 6 amazing girls in engineering college and it truly is a miracle that they are still a part of my life. It seems like yesterday when I walked down the aisle and waived goodbye to my parents and boarded the flight to USA and started my own family. 44 years later and here am I today – thinking about all the “seems like yesterdays” and smiling to myself, for I survived. Life is full of variables and every variable has a constant that becomes visible with time. We are all a product of our own experiences. My experiences have taught me a few lessons that I believe will help me survive the next 44

• Death is a reality. Life is fickle. We all have to die sometime. Don’t make it harder on yourself by not doing what you want to do today. Live your dreams, so when your time comes, you know you have lived your life.

• Fill your and another’s bucket every day. How many of you know the story How Full is Your Bucket? I love this story. If you haven’t, listen to it and fill your bucket everyday. I had forgotten about this until a 5-year-old girl reminded me. Now, I try to fill my bucket everyday.

• In the grandeur of the Universe, you are a speck. Nothing more and nothing less – just a speck, so stop thinking the world of your self. No matter how smart you are there is always going to be someone smarter than you. Instead be humble, your humility will help another shy girl come out of her shell.

• Keep life simple. The more we have, the more complicated it gets, so try and have the minimum apps that you need to survive in this techy world.

• Let children be children. When they create a fuss, within reason cater to this fuss. They fuss with you because they know they can. They fuss with you because they know you can take you for granted. Let them fuss, because when you were a child, you fussed too and your parents catered to your fuss.

• Don’t become a teenager. Post 40 life is hard for many. There is a sudden desire to dress teen, act teen and be teen. Why? You are lucky to be here, the privilege of turning 40 and beyond is denied to many; don’t try to turn the clock back. Celebrate your curves, edges and the years.

• Money is relative, is needed and the same is true for success. You will need money to survive in this world, how much you need, is the relative part. It is not about how much money you have, it is about what you can do with the little that you have.

• Find friends in the real world. Try to be THAT one friend to someone who can be taken for granted and find ONE such friend for yourself too. Value your friendship more than your pride and say sorry first. This holds true for all other relationships that you value. 

• Think positive and surround your self with positive thoughts. Stay away from those who concur with your negativity. Embrace those who disagree with your negativity, for they are the ones trying hard to bring out the best in you.

• The Universe is always listening and giving us clues. Pay attention.

• Romance and love are not the same. Romance is conditional. Love is unconditional. Love is what brings out the best in us.

• If you try to make everyone happy, YOU will be the un-happiest person. This does not mean you need to be selfish and self centered, it simply means that solving every problem in the world, is not your job.

• It’s okay to vent out. Remember THAT one friend – cleanse your soul by venting out and then go back to filling your and another’s bucket.

This birthday was the realization that I NOW know how to enjoy my own company. I can still not eat alone or go to the movies alone, but I can be myself and not get bored.  I am my best friend and no one can be me. 44 years – is the oldest and youngest I can be today and why wait for a celebration, celebrate yourself.   It’s time to make every second count and keep filling those buckets.  

Happy Birthday to me!