Shilpa Verma – Shilpa's

2024 – Farewell, my friend.

New Year’s eve for me has always been a day to reflect and if I could, I would reflect in complete silence. This year I need it more. A friendly year, that brought with it some serious attitude and a constant reminder of how fickle life is.

2024 – you have been a Khichdi of emotions; the splash of joy, the overpowering sourness of silent pain mixed in with a handful of resilience, topped with a dash of faith, brought back the smidgen of courage and the flavors began to balance out.

Khichdi - a mix of cooked rice and lentils with spices. — Khichdi – a mix of rice and lentils when cooked right is comfort food, when cooked wrong, is a very unappetizing meal, but it can be fixed easily with a dash of ghee and spices, much like life where seemingly simple moments mixed in together can bring in the most complex negative emotions, and yet, the same moments when expressed with kindness can bring in smiles – implying that life is a combination of highs and lows, all coming together to form a complete experience, called “living a life”

Rare and exotic courage wasn’t easy to find – Vulnerability had to step out, stand amidst a herd of familiar faces, break the silence, speak louder than it wanted to, and only then did courage emerge. Grateful and thankful for the courage.

2024, riding with you, I learned a few things:

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, lemon pickle, lemon chutney, lemon rice and if the lemons keep coming, then at some point, you have to start catching them and let them sit on the countertop – the Universe also needs a sign, that you have had enough. Take that pause and show some grace to yourself.

As a society, we continue to look for exclusive inclusivity. We want the connections but we want them to be ours alone. There is value in the individual conversations, however the shared experiences are what makes us human. As a society, we are working very hard to create those exclusive inclusive moments – and yet we complain of the isolation many are feeling today.
When familiar faces move away, the Universe brings in complete strangers in your path – give these new faces a chance for they will help you get your groove back.

When I look back, Life has very clear highs and lows and everything in between was when living happened. This in the moment living is the hard part. If only we knew 🙂 The wise say “The world is your oyster. Find your pearl oyster” If so, then more than ever, we need to remember that when the oyster is injured, the tear, is what makes the pearl possible. Without the pain, without the injury, there would be no pearl.

Dear 2024, I bid you farewell with a smile. You brought in many joys, and for that I am very thankful. You brought in sorrows, and for that too I am thankful (I admit, I was also very mad) but as you move away, I have learned my lessons and I bid you farewell with a smile.

Dear 2025, the world needs kindness, empathy and the honest human connection. Bless us all, so we can continue to live a life beyond the “I” and move forward with the “we.” Personally, give me the strength to be the daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, teacher, woman, and myself so I can continue to support my family and all who I meet. Let me continue to believe in the magic of the Universe. Bless me so I can continue to surround myself with kindred spirits, and continue in my journey of education and doing all I can for my students.

Dear 2025, I welcome you with a smile and hope. Be Kind!

Pronoia!

And I took that step at 50 years. When many are thinking about retirement, it is nothing short of crazy that I am starting a new career. After raising a family for 15 years, and spending countless hours volunteering at schools, when it was time to think about career part two, education seemed like a natural transition. However, wanting to be a teacher and actually teaching are two very different wants, and so started my journey as a para educator. After working for 5 years as a para educator, I learned how to communicate with students and gain the skills of one on one teaching. Then came the pandemic and while it created havoc for many families, it was also the much needed pause education industry needed. The dichotomy and deficits of the education policies came forward, EdTech took leaps of innovation, and as parents struggled to balance work and kids at home, for the first time in many decades teachers were at the center and their work was now meaningful. Somewhere in this pandemic, I also took a leap of faith and made the decision to apply for teaching role. I had genuinely thought, HR will come back and tell me the gaps in my resume and then I will need to build it up, but to my surprise, I was offered a role at my neighborhood high school.

I remember my first day in Jan 2022 – here I was hyper excited, but my enthusiasm was short lived because many in the department even before working with me, concluded, I can’t do this job. I genuinely thought of going back and spoke to the admin who interviewed me, a seasoned educator himself, he told me to take the day off ,and said, tomorrow will be a new day. I will always be grateful to him for this advise. I took this day off to find my village and after debating with myself, I emailed a veteran teacher at the school. Ms. A (now retired) responded, my door is open, come on in, and then there was Ms. P and Ms. K. The next day, I met my program specialist, Dr. H, and, so started the journey. I am forever grateful, and thankful to these two ladies, for showing me the way, how to write my IEPs, and reassuring me that I can do this. Along the way, I now have Ms. K next door, a fellow believer in Pronoia and it’s been the best few months. Ms. P and Ms. K were the lifelines of the classroom and together, we slowly started moving forward.

June 2024, I completed my second year of teaching at the high school and it is also the season of graduations. , I paid my dues, and after 2 years of college studies, with intern teaching, I officially turned the nay’s into yay’s and am now an Ed.Specialist. This journey has been very hard, very rewarding and I saw Pronoia in action. There were days when I was bone tired, mentally exhausted, and yet I managed to write the reports, complete CTC portfolios and more. The Universe kept me sane, and introduced me to people who shared the same values. I know I am blowing my own trumpet but I am so proud of myself, and happy with myself for not listening to the negatives and moving forward with the positives.

This journey would not have been possible, had it not been for the ASAP family… Together, you inspire more than you will ever know, and thank you for being patient with all those weeks when dinner was a takeout or a left over meal. Husband dear, your whistles reassure that this crazy roller coaster life will sort itself out. To my children – let this journey be a reminder that it is never too late to take a u -turn or walk a different path, especially if it feels right to you. I hope as you evaluate your career choices, you will continue to find opportunities that inspire you to get up everyday with a bounce in your step and a smile on your face. To my parents, I hope somewhere in this journey, you saw the values and the grit you instilled in me, and to all who said a no to me, I owe you a special thank you, because your no to me, helped me find the grit in me to move forward, so thank you!

In this journey, I have often stood on the side and made my notes .. Musings of an Educator… soon to come. Until then, stay well and stay you.

Very Happy for ME!

Adieu 2023!

2023, it’s going to be hard to forget you, and yet, I can’t wait to say Goodbye. I am happy it’s 2024. 2023 was a year of gratitude and learnings.

Gratitude for a second chance. At the age of 50+, when many are thinking about retirement, it is nothing short of crazy that I am starting a new career, and if I had known the truth about how difficult the credentialing requirements are in CA, maybe I would have never set foot on this journey – so there is gratitude for not knowing, and gratitude for a classroom that is my safe space. My students may not be understood by many, but I love their quirkiness, attitude and all the crazy stories I hear.

I love that they fight life everyday and show up to school. They inspire more than they will ever know.

Gratitude that the Universe continues to direct me in the right direction. Last school year, my position was cancelled, and as one door closed, another opened. I walked into the new role, very nervous, and today, I find my calm in the new role. The learning curve is steep, I burn the midnite oil often, and amidst all the chaos, I know this was the right decision.

Gratitude for a few colleagues who have made my journey possible. These are the few folks who believed in me and answer the zillion questions I have. Through one colleague, a wise one, I learned to zone out the noise and just do my thing.

Gratitude for ASAP – ASAP is life and I am thankful for the three reasons I have to keep moving forward with the learnings of 2023.

2023 was a teacher unlike any other – it was brutal, and the kind of teacher who shames you in front of the classroom with the belief that this raw honesty will build stronger nerves and it did. Because of 2023, I learned that even the most honest friendships – you know the kind you share your weakest moments with, the kind that you nurture, can change, the truth becomes a story, and before you know it, you have lost one or maybe a few good friends. Every relationship I cherished, shook me different ways, and I learned that no matter how honest or strong, relationships are just as fickle as the mind. It doesn’t take too much to sway them.

I learned that I cook too much, I am too emotional, I overdo the inclusivity, too enthusiastic, too many celebrations, have had a very easy life, and apparently, I have too much time on my hands too.

I tried changing it all, only to realize I can’t, and so I cook only for those who understand that cooking is my meditation. I express emotions only where I know there is understanding and no judgement, and I try and include to the best I can. I still have to go back to being too enthusiastic and continuing the celebrations.

2024, the plan is to just be, redirect the energy to those who understand it – maynot appreciate it, but atleast understand it with kindness and empathy. COVID was supposed to make us more empathetic, and here we are getting more ‘i” centric and wanting that inclusivity with exclusivity.

2024, let me give back to this world more than what I have received. As humans, we want world peace, and I do believe, the easiest way to achieve this is not through politicians, but by just giving back in tiny amounts to the world we live in.

2024, remind me the learnings of 2023 so I don’t take everyone at their face value. Remind me that in today’s times, if something doesn’t fit into an agenda, that thing or person is kicked out.

2024 – my prayer is to keep the magic alive. Let me continue to believe in my Utopian world, surround me with people who say the truth, but also understand and empathize with kindness, and most importantly, let me continue on my journey of education.

2024, I have cried tears of joy and many tears of sorrow in 2023, help me, so these tears can water the seeds of hope I am planting. Seeds of Hope for a kinder, more inclusive community. Hope for more acceptance. Hope for everyone just celebrating each other and finding joy in the smiles of another.

2024, I welcome you with Hope.

2024 - a year of hope. — 2024 – I welcome you with Hope.

ReWriting!

This blog is my sanity space and it has been incredibly hard to keep it going. Many factors played into this and I can blame it on many different things, but at the end of the day it was me. It was me that was processing a gamut of emotions that have been flowing through now for 2 years. Emotions that have me jumping with joy and then those that have me in tears and somewhere between the spectrum; life happened.

28th December, 2022 – we took flight and headed for a family vacation to Big Island, Hawaii – Pictoblog coming soon! – I loved the sound of the ocean, as a self taught artist, I know the magic of blue and all it does to our neurons, the warm touch of the sand relaxed the muscles.. my favorite being the sand shifting under my feet as the wave pulls away and yet there was something that made me very wary of the beach. The strength of water, the never ending depths of the ocean and the simple truth that the ocean is always changing was always pulling me away from my calm zone and then I had to remind myself to come back.

This oxymoron of a vacation was just what I needed to reflect through – I wrote on restaurant receipts to Post it notes.. I started unbundling my thoughts.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
– Aristotle

1/1/2023 . I made the effort to wake up early – The solo early morning in the Lanai with the meditative sound of the ocean waves helped me unravel the truths and learnings of 2022.

Truth 1: Despite the ebb and flow of tears, the year 2022 has been a year filled with incredible blessings. End of 2019, I realized it was time for me to put some extra effort into my career part 2 – during this time and continuing, I envisioned myself in a role and in August 2022, that role manifested itself and it was Pronoia coming alive. I found a new job, went back to college and the classroom is my safe space. I work hard to ensure it is a safe space for my students too.

Learning 1: This manifestation proved it to me that Pronoia is real and we just have to keep believing.

Truth 2: Pre-Covid we wanted exclusivity, during Covid we needed inclusivity and post covid we want inclusive exclusivity. To Include or not to include is a phrase that i hear often both in my personal and professional world. In theory we all agree. In practice we all differ. In the personal space, to me a village that supports each other beyond their own selves is one that thrives and smiles. As a person, I am either all in a friendship or all out – the modern day as needed or as per the moment need friendship has never been my style. I can either live in a village or not live in it. To me, a village comes with the good, the bad and the ugly – if we choose to live in it, we choose to accept it all. That’s just who I am and I have tried hard in 2022 to change that, but couldn’t do it.

Learning 2: This is MY way of thinking. Doesn’t have to be everyone’s.
Like my husband says – there are Billion + people in the world, and there are Billion + opinions. I have learned that many people choose to visit a village, and only stay if it fits into their timeline – I am learning to adapt to this style.

Truth 3: Logic says people can share each other’s experiences and avoid making the same mistakes, life says – they need to make those mistakes before they can learn.

Learning 3: Say less.

Truth 4: Cooking, Art and Writing continue to be my meditative practices.

Truth 5: The mountain protects me and I can close my eyes. The ocean keeps me alert.

Learning 4: I need to continue doing these irrespective of it all – so experiment more in the kitchen, more art and more writing.

Learning 5: I am a mountain person, but the family loved the ocean. So yes to more ocean vacations.

2023 – I welcome you with open arms and the request to give me space to ReWrite and move forward with the learnings of 2022 – Pronoia is real, Say Less, Practice my meditation, The Village will evolve, and more ocean time for the family.

type writer with Hemmingway quote on Rewriting — Why ReWrite

This Women’s Day – Forget the Glass Ceiling and Open the Doors!

Women then and Women today, were and are told to be competitive. Clearly that style of leadership, that strategy to break the glass ceiling is not working, so why not try something different. Ignore and forget the glass ceiling – Open the doors!

Open the door, so you can see the woman next door.
Open the door, so you can tell her “she can and you will help her”

Open the door, so you can break the stereotype of “jealousy thy name is woman”
Open the door, so you can stop gossiping and start talking

Open the door, so you can bring her in, and not hold her out
Open the door, so the sounds are loud and clear

Open the door, so there are no secrets
Open the door, so the sharing can begin.

Open the door, because there is power in a pack
Open the door, because together is a beautiful place to be
Open the door, so you can walk WITH her.

Women carry their burden individually
Supporting each other is the only way to move forward.
This painting is borrowed from the Internet.

In the painting we see the women carrying the same pot (their burden) uniquely and yet it looks like they are carrying the burden for each other… .

This is True Empowerment – Just letting each one do their thing and yet find a way to be together and move forward.

We all go through moments of feeling “taken for granted” and that is when we want to shut doors. I am guilty of the same too… Not too long ago, I wanted to shut every open door, I thought it was the only way to protect myself… then a new job, a new role, a new co-worker who wrote to me “my door is always open” reminded me that almost always in life, we need to ignore the noise and look beyond our own selves. And so I did. Slowly, and cautiously the doors are opening again and I am in a much happier place.

This blog is a sacred space for me. It is my meditation, it is my sanity check and through this, I promise to keep the doors open. I promise to do my part to build the women in my life. I promise my blog to keep it alive and thriving.

Through this blog, I promise to keep it real.

Happy Women’s Day to ALL of you Amazing Women!

Quarantine Cupid Says; Build the Village, and Keep it Alive!

This village thing, it’s messy, it’s hard, it’s tricky and yet it is needed to thrive.

It’s hard, Why? Well because where are you going to find that first friend who you can trust? If you stay genuine, the friend will find you.

Be Genuine! It’s rare to find authenticiy in the world today and people value it; they just don’t think it’s cool to say that, so they don’t :)”

Building a Village - Be genuine — Be Genuine

It’s messy – very messy sometimes. Human beings are complicated – we love, we argue, and so much more. This is the time when you will need to dig deep inside, find that strength and focus on the Village and not your pride.

Ignore the argument and value the village.

It is tricky and the trick is keeping the village together. As human beings we always look for differentiation. We want to find our own kind. Our Soul friends as we say it. We all need them. In a village, if one can find a soul friend, it’s a blessing. The tricky part is keeping the blessing and still being a part of the village. Often in our excitement of finding the soul friends, we create our mini village and the bigger village gets fragmented.

This fragmentation is the tricky part. This is also inevitable. Happens in every village. There is not much one can do, because the village cannot be forced on anyone.

The hard and messy of this tricky fragmentation is to stay true to to the Village. Don’t fragment.

I know we blame the pandemic for everything, but this is not just the pandemic, it’s US. When Corona entered our life, the world came together, we were thankful to technology for letting us stay in touch with our loved ones. Country leaders forgot their differences and offered help across geographical boundaries. The social channel groups were streaming with messages – we checked on each other, we offered to buy groceries for each and we communicated. Then the year passed and a new year brought new hopes, but 2021 was brutal for many and we were tired, we were craving to hug our loved ones but we could not, so slowly we started losing hope. The Quarantine Cupid kept saying communicate and we continued to go silent. And so the fragmentation started.

Today, the pandemic has ended and the stories of war are resurfacing. Ironic, right… it took a pandemic to bring the world together. The pandemic is gone and here we are creating war and death again.

You can’t change the world, but you can change YOUR world. This valentines day – the Cupid wants you to build YOUR village and keep it alive. Reach out to the people in your lives, nurture, connect and build. A village where one can just be, embrace them all.

A village – It’s hard, it’s messy, and it’s tricky but it can be built.

Happy Valentine’s Day to My Village !

The Blessing of the 50 year!

It has been a year when the Universe paused time to shower me with love and warmth with chai and gifts galore. The Universe says, I earned it and I ask how? The Universe says, you deserve it, and I wonder, do I? I then pause to remind myself and not question the Universe, for the Universe knows. I remind myself, to breathe and enjoy the pampering.

Last birthday I made a promise to try and do 50 acts of kindness that go beyond donating money to charity. Guess, how many I did….. only ten 🙁 I can’t take names but as I go through them, I realize that all I really did in every act of kindness was listen patiently and suggest a solution. Does it really count as ten acts of kindness if the act is the same in every one of them? I don’t know but I do know that all of them just needed a listening ear and I am happy that the Universe chose me to listen to them. And now that I know how hard it is to do 50 acts of kindness, the goal is to continue and try and reach 50. I had also silently promised myself to grow 50 plants and I added only 20. Again a promise that I need to continue to build upon.

These two promises have left me in awe of the heroes who plant seed by seed to grow a forest, the heroes who take care of the homeless, the heroes who everyday live beyond themselves… Respect for everyone of them. And I thought a lot about three angels… Jayne, Amy and Kimberly. I know the heavens are more cheerful for these three are there, but I also hope they ran into each other and are friends.

Jayne. She worked tirelessly at zillion volunteer events everyday with a smile that could brighten up a dungeon. Kimberly, a woman of substance, was often like a mother to me, she showed me the positives in my children when the world stopped believing in them and taught me to have that unshakeable faith in love and caring. She showed me the power of feeding family with love everyday. Amy, a true warrior, through her wit and humor taught me to the best part of someone’s day everyday and I try hard to do that, though I don’t succeed everytime.

Together these three women taught me to keep it real; scream if you need to, cry if you need to, hug often, keep smiling and when the time comes, exit in style.

Birthdays are a time of relection but they are also a time to look forward and dream of the future that is yet to come. As a daughter, a wife, a mother, and more importantly as a woman… I yearn for a future where the phrase “working woman” is synonymous to “being a mother.” A future where the world understands the magic of a domesticated woman – through her sheer tenacity and courage to plow through a society that often questions her decision to soley raise her family, she builds a channel of network that no corporate conference can achieve because the channels of a domesticated woman are based on pure mutual admiration and sisterhood. And on my 50th birthday, I saw these channels come alive.

I saw a circle of friendships, where there were no sides to move, no edges to turn and no angles to measure…
And that is the true blessing of my 50th year.

Happy Birthday to Me! My promise to myself … Continue to be Simply Shilpa

Dr Seuss quote on birthday — Celebrate Yourself

Navratri ReDefined!

India, the land of mystic, magic, and myth. It’s perpetually impossible to talk about India and not mention the 32 crore gods or maybe more the country worships and the for many that God is Goddess Durga and Navratri is a celebration of and for her.

Navratri literally translates to “nine nights. The mythological stories behind Navratri are nothing short of amazing. India has the holy trinity or as Hindu’s cal it Trimurti. Brahma is the creator of the Universe, Vishnu is the preserver and Shiva is responsible for the change, both as in the form of the destroyer of evil or death and also as in the destroyer of ego. It just so happened that a long time ago, amongst all the good and bliss, there lived a demon called Mahishasur. He wanted to be eternal, so he started praying to Lord Shiva, did penance for years, and finally was granted the boon, that no man or god will ever be able to kill him. Upon receiving the boon, his cruelty knew no limits, he conquered Earth and in his blind arrogance then set his eyes on “Indralok,” the home of the Gods. The Gods were now worried and as you can imagine were furious at Lord Shiva for granting him such a boon. Shiva is also the angry yogi, the one who meditates and when his mediation is broken, is awakened with rage that has no control. From his rage came a bright light that merged with the rays from Vishnu and Brahma, to create this beautiful and absolutely amazing woman. Woman, yes, because remember the boon was “no man or god. The woman came to be called, Shakti meaning strength or power. She possessed the power of all the deities in the heavenly abode. She had one mission, to save the Universe and destroy Mahishasur and all demons.

Goddess Durga — Shakti destroys evil to restore peace on Earth

Gods, all men, created this woman to do the task that they could not. They gave her their strength to save the Earth and the Universe. In a sense, Shakti is the essence of the lords, it is the cosmic energy. She is merciful, knowledgeable, powerful, and bestows her disciples with materialistic grandeur and spiritual freedom. She sits on a lion and has ten weapons. Over time Shakti took nine forms, and every day of Navratri celebrates each manifestation, with the most popular being Goddess Durga. Shakti got the name Durga after she destroyed the demon Durg.

Navratri is mythological India’s Woman’s day celebration.

Personally, for me, my favorite is the 8th day. The eighth day is called Ashtami. It is the day when we celebrate the girl child. Little girls, pure and innocent mortal forms of The Goddesses are welcomed into loving homes. They are pampered with gifts galore and in turn, the little angels shower their giggly blessings and love on the family. Soon these angels grow up and cross the threshold into womanhood. Tradition says they are no longer innocent.

Today, let’s talk about it. The Period.

The Period makes us a woman and yet we choose to shun the very essence of us. The Period is nothing more than pain and discomfort that the female body goes through the majority of her life. Every month she bleeds so when the moment is right she can bring a new life into this world. That’s pretty amazing! It’s a supernatural wondrous quality.

A few years ago, I reinvented Ashtami and chose to celebrate the daughters in my life and not their bodies. My relationship with the Goddess Durga gives me the strength to believe that the Goddess will not punish me for pampering the daughters in my life. She is a woman and she knows the Period gives birth and so it cannot be taboo.

I choose to celebrate their strength, their smile, their giggles, and their hugs.

It is time we the women reinvent faith and beliefs.

It’s time we understand that – The Period is a part of every woman and we all exist because of The Period.

So rightfully, Navratri to me has become the celebration of women. And this year, I did exactly that… Invited my girlfriends and celebrated them with the same glory as I celebrate the daughters. These girlfriends are the Goddesses in my life who make it possible every single day.

As Bhavani, we give birth for if there was no “garbha” or womb, there would be no world. As Parvati, we stand next to our consort through all times, like Annapurna, we feed our family before feeding ourselves, as Saraswati we teach our kids the value of knowledge, as Kali, we fiercely protect all we love, as Laxmi we use the wealth wisely, as Sati and Sita we prove our loyalty in every era.

Navratri celebrates all forms of Shakti, the beautiful one and the scary Kali too, thus telling us women that irrespective of what the world says, YOU are beautiful in your own special way. Every woman has a quality that the other does not have, and when we unite, we are a Shakti that can change the world.

Let us remember that we as women come in all shapes are sizes. We are not born to compete with each other but rather to complement each other and make the world possible.

Be YOU, Be BEAUTIFUL!

I cannot end this post, without showing you a glimpse of the Navratri celebrations in the Indian state of Gujarat. Enjoy!

The sheer numbers are nothing like you have seen in the US. It looks crazy, but trust me there is a beautiful method to the madness here.
A Glimpse of Navratri celebrations in Gujarat.

Goddess Durga on the lion Navratri Celebrations — The Goddess is within the Woman

Dear Student – Hit that Reset Button.

A year of zooming went by fast and yet was excruciatingly slow. If you are feeling tired, then you are not alone. Though tired, you got up every day, turned on your device, and logged into school. You showed up and that’s your success this school year.

2021 was supposed to be a year of hope and yet the sadness of lost ones surrounds them. Every day, gratitude becomes the reason we move forward. Vaccines are now available for 12 years and above. The questions stay but we don’t see any other options so with continued apprehension, we slowly take the first step to get ourselves and our loved ones vaccinated.

2020-2021, will be an excellent school year. We the grown ups, don’t know much, but here’s what we know:

You woke up and did your thing… with resilience and respect. That “thing” was different for all of us, which is okay. As long as you took a step forward every day, you did well. So before you think of the last year as a waste, think about how YOU, showed resilience and weathered a year unlike any other.

Today, you are excited about the possibility of playing in the park with your friends, and we the parents worry about learning loss. Learning loss, you ask quizzically? And you are right. No one knows what this learning loss looks like. For some students, it’ll be missing out on learning pre-algebra, for some it will be the loss of words, for some the loss of muscle strength and for many it will be the loss of social and emotional skills.

Dear Student, talk to your parents, remind them that your brain needs to breathe again. It needs to learn to walk again, run again, talk again, and go crazy again.. once the brain learns to redo these, the academics will come again.

Remind your parents, the best way to reset a device is to shut it down, let it rest, and then turn it on. This summer make the choice to get bored, make pillow forts, hang out with grandma, bake cookies and make a mess, run in the park wild or go for a picnic in the park.

The academic learning loss is an easy fix, the social-emotional grid takes a long time to fix, so this summer, make it about your mental well-being with academics sprinkled in between.

Image about being calm and pressing the reset button

Who is The Empowered Woman?

The Empowered Woman… Who is She? Is there a definition? It’s a question that I think about often. Why? Because I think as women we work hard to mimic empowerment. We are only now learning to approve more than disapprove.

Without much further ado, let us find the perfect woman so we can be her.

Empowered woman; Is she my grandma who woke up at 5.00, went for her walk, bathed, prayed, cooked, and was off to her social work all before 10.00 am? Or maybe she is like my mom, who did all of the above and tutored her and neighboring kids too, or maybe like my mother in law, who though in her 70’s, can devour the WSJ and can hold a conversation on any topic in the world, or maybe she’s like me, who does all of the above and then manages to paint, write blogs, coach, and .. but oh wait… I. know, she has to be the tech woman who left the corporate world to fulfill her dream to be an artist, or the one who chose to follow her dream and become a movie director, maybe she is like my friend, who has a stellar job, a demanding career, and yet does all of what I do? Or maybe the entrepreneur who sells the amazing sarees through FB live and continues to build a sisterhood? Or is the one who is raising a village from scratch by reforming education? No wait, I know she is Z, the lady who comes to my mom’s home and helps her with the household chores, supports a hearing-impaired child, and smiles through life, irrespective of the lemons she keeps catching. What do you think, Is Z the one? Is she the empowered woman?

This blogpost is not about empowering you because you are your own being. In 2019, I was introduced to the beautiful religion of Buddhism by an empowered woman who refused to give in to my sulkiness.

We were four women of very different age groups discussing life and through the discourse, The Buddha is within us. This is a strong and redundant truth, it struck me as one of the most powerful conversations I have had. It also made me realize that the women found this faith through their own sorrows. There were struggles and there were tears, but they didn’t give up. They were seekers and they found a solution for themselves. To me they were putting their life stories in front of a stranger, their courage to be vulnerable was inspiring and their show of vulnerability healed me. They were healers.

From the Suffragette movement to the modern day, there are countless examples of women building each other up through the most dire times. Case in point, a Facebook group called Saree Speak. The women there are phenomenal. Through the shared love and passion for the Indian attire Saree, the women uplift each other, unlike any group I know. It’s a sisterhood of 155K+ women. Complete strangers that compliment each other, uplift each other in hundreds of comments.

There are also many examples of when we the women do everything in our capacity to bring another woman down. When we refuse to see the pain and honesty of another because it conflicts with our own pride and ego. It is also true, that as a woman we come in different strokes for different folks.

It is a choice we make.

I am blessed with not one but multiple villages in my Imperfectly Perfect World. Multiple women and not two alike and yet every one of them empowered in their own might.

To find the empowered woman, all you have to do is, Look at the mirror and you will find her standing there in front of you. YOU are empowered within yourself. You are the seeker, the healer, the applier, the campaigner, the contender, the spoiler, the hearer, the hauler, sometimes even the yeller (and it’s okay,) and you are the giver. So this woman’s day, give yourself permission to just be.

Stand in front of the mirror and smile, because YOU are enough.

Happy Woman’s Day!

This post was inspired by the beautiful truth from Vidya Balan. and the many women I have learned from. Do visit their links above.