Once upon a time, we wrote to emote and today we emote to write. The cute smiley faces allow us to bring in some humor and character to the simplicity of the words. They even allow us to be a little rude without sounding rude, so it is no surprise that Emoticons and Emojis are the way we communicate today.
Communication like everything else in the 21st century has evolved and we are all gracefully embracing it. I have too and yet I struggle with the ? I get when I ask my children how they are or I ask my husband how’s his day going? I understand they are busy and I also know this is the norm, so I don’t need to be bothered by this, but maybe because I love words, this trend of using ? to show happiness, or ? ? to express silliness or ? to express love for the work or my post bothers me.
To understand this, I asked my girl gang – “lets talk with words on WA and not emoji’s or GIF’s.”Guess what happened .. yup, all in good humor the group had all the possible GIF’s and emoji’s popping up.
Here’s what I learnt, With every passing day, we are forgetting how to express ourselves in writing. Emoticons make it easier for us to acknowledge a comment, a message and celebrations without having to think about what to write. I decided to not use Emoticons for a day at least, and I found myself struggling too. That is when I understood the power of the tiny yellow face.
I get it that time is of essence and Emoticons save time. I also understand that sometimes words are hard to find and Emoticons make it easy, but here’s the thing, Emoticons are confusing, they are not precise and most importantly they create a distraction from the essence of the message.
Lets take the world we live in today… A post on BLM and how the community is creating a movement can get a ?, maybe this hints that people are bringing out the good in each other and moving forward, it can get a ? to show the sadness for the lives lost, it can also get a simple ? which today is the most generic way of saying, “I don’t know what to say, so I gave it a thumbs up.” Instead if folks took a few seconds to write; angels in action, sad this still happens, or Kudos to all; the words bring out the smiles to the readers and makes the message clear and shows that their work is actually creating an awareness because people are pausing to write.
When we write, we have to actually think, and that is why it’s so hard. Emoticons the work is already done, we just mindlessly pick one and click. It’s no secret that when we write our brain registers better, the neural connections activate more, so why are we moving backwards to the era of communicating with images. Man worked hard to put words to their thoughts and in the name of technology we are just taking it away.
Words are powerful and I love words. I am not a wordsmith, sometimes I too struggle in what to say and how to say it, but for the most part, I find them. Words – they have empowered us, from the freedom fighters to the love couplets of Shakespeare. Words have given us the strength to fight for the world that is just and fair, words have given women the right to vote and work, words have taught us to love another irrespective of their color and most importantly words give us the courage to be who we want to be.
Words allow us to be fearless. Emoticons allow us to be silly.
So today, I ask you to do an experiment with yourself, Write to Emote. Find that adjective to express your emotion, find that verb to show you are having a rough day and yet moving along, find that moment to pause and express yourself. Be original, don’t copy, don’t click.
Write to Emote!
Category: Life
Boring Boredom!
We are officially half way done with summer and some of us are desperately waiting for schools to reopen while some of us (like myself) wishes the vacations continue for ever. Why can’t we just have a year round school.. study for one unit, take a break and then go back. So much better, don’t you think. As adults, don’t we feel like taking a break every 2-3 months, then why deprive the kids of that luxury. Anyways, I know most of you are rolling your eyes and wondering what planet I come from. Well, it’s the same as yours, Earth, I just don’t like the constant drilling mode we are in.
Why is summer a bummer and a stress factor for so many parents? Why do parents worry about their kids getting bored? Seriously, since when has a bored mind become a bad thing. Mind is a machine and like every other machine it needs its downtime too.
Okay, before you say anything, I do realize that I work from my home office and my kids have the luxury, but so do yours. Honestly, they do. I tried giving this idea to a few moms this year and they looked at me like I was Dorothy making a wish. Here’s a possible solution – your kids have friends – some very nice, some okay. Meet up with their parents and form a group, 5-6 families and have the group of kids go to the respective homes turn by turn. You get your kids only once a week and yet they are out of your way without any major expense or structure. Again, I know this solution does not work for everyone, but it’s a worth a try, isn’t it? Infact, I wouldn’t mind doing it with my kids too. I tried selling it, but it did not fly with many. I wondered why? I am still wondering why? If you have insights, please do share them.
Overtime my kids complaint of how boring it is, I tell them it’s okay to get bored.It’s perfectly okay to hang upside down on the couch and stare at the ceiling. They are getting bored, not tortured. Their bellies are full, have clean clothes and not a worry in the world.. that’s a lot to be happy about. Over time, the frequency of “I am getting bored” has gone down – they find their thing now. When they can’t find anything better to do, they both end up in the backyard.. sometimes screaming at each other, sometimes playing with each other. At first, every time they screamed, I ran outside to calm them down because I didn’t want the neighbors thinking I have unruly kids. Now, I don’t. In my heart I know what the neighbors are thinking – this mom has no control or she does not care. Quite honestly, I am keeping an eye on my kids, but I have realized one thing, the over parenting I have done in the past years back fired on me. The kids today take life as an entitlement and I have a problem with that. Life is a gift and its a privilege to have clean running water, the kids need to understand that, but they don’t. It is important for these kids to fall, hurt a knee or two, be in pain so they realize the joy of not being in pain. It’s not easy, especially in today’s times when we judge each other with a magnifying glass. Why? As parents, aren’t we all in the same boat, so why do we judge? Why do we credit the success or failure of the child to the parent? Is it the parent who got the honor roll or is it the parent who went to summer school? Neither and yet we judge.
This summer, I realized another thing, as parents we take way too much credit for the success of our kids and we blame ourselves way too much for their failure too. If a parent watches their kids like a hawk, that’s okay – we all have our fears and our reasons are our own. The smart parent though will watch and speak only when needed.
Just as a clarification – it took me two years to get here. Two years ago, I was the helicopter parent and I sadly thought hovering was ok.
It is important for these kids to have nothing to do. It is important to get bored, because that’s when they will be forced to open those long lost tubs of goodies and make things happen. When they create their own play, summer will suddenly be magical. Human beings are creators and inventors. If you Google the history, the most brilliant ideas came from a lazy activity. What do you think Newton was doing under an apple tree? I am pretty sure he was lazing around.
I am not undermining the efforts or the kids who do strive to succeed and like to stay busy all day and want something to do. The point is if they can come up with ideas, give them the tools to make those ideas a reality, but don’t think of the ideas for them. In my house today, there are only three ideas, electronics, tennis and hoola hoops and somewhere in between tons of food. Quite honestly, thats okay with me.
I let my kids run wild in summer. Most parents will disagree with my strategy, and quite honestly, I don’t know if I am right or wrong. Time will tell. What I do know is I want my kids to enjoy being home and in turn enjoying being with me and that’s all that matters. I continue to try hard and not worry about what classes my middle schooler will get or who will be my daughter’s teacher.
I am hoping that this freedom to get bored and find a way to snap out of the boredom will also teach them to take what life gives them and make the best of it.
Have fun this summer with your kids. They are going to be in your nest for only 18 years before they fly away to build their own nest. Give them memories that will make them come back often.
If you are bored of reading this, too bad, because I had a blast writing this 🙂
Blessed I am – are you?
Very excited today to be sharing a guest blog post by a very dear friend. She had asked me to do a blog post on college memories…. and for me college was a mixed bag of emotions, happiness entwined with pain, mystic, confusion, anger and in the end amazing friendships. So I quickly turned it around and invited her to do a guest blog post.. and I have to say, her perspective and and capture of Techno is brighter than mine. So, here you go. The moments from Techno by a very dear friend Seema Abhale. While I was trying to understand why I took admission in engineering ( I still wonder how and why I ended up there :)) she had it all figured out and today is the proud owner of Prakruti Environmental Engineers. The girl has successfully established a business in an industry that has traditionally been dominated my men. She is everything you would a friend to be. I hope you enjoy the innocence of this post.
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BLESSED I AM _ ARE YOU? by Seema Abhale.
“And there I stand in the centre square of the Faculty of Technology & Engineering of the renowned University The Maharaja Sayajirao Universtiy of Vadodara,wondering whether it’s a dream or really I am at the place which I always dreamt to be as a kid!! Ooouch… i am really there!!
I had always known this place but today as I stand here I am totally lost; as though the place is flooded with same race; can hardly see anyone known! Timid, publicly shy as I am; started my stride through the crowd towards the steps that took us to the lobby where my class would be. My heart is pounding of anxiety; the most exciting day was about to turn to be the most gloomy for not having any known friends around and then my watery eyes saw a face that instantly brought a smile and hurray there I see a girl whom I recognised at once! Not that I knew her since long but she was the one who was ahead of me while taking the admission. We did exchange the names but I hardly remembered but did remember her face – how can one forget such a beautiful mysterious face. But the happy moments are momentary; we were placed in different classes!!! Anyways for a happy girl like me the fact that someone know is around was enough and so the journey began….
Few days passed and one fine day I see a little girl with bouncy hair in a frock and shoes coming to the class along with the boys. Not very clear what but something in my heart said that she is the one with whom I can be friends with. Shy character of mine restricted me from starting a conversation and so few days went by analyzing though started being friendly with the boys – classmates!! And soon made friends with most of the classmates and also with the one which brought smile to my face on the very first day!
I am still trying to adjust in the environment and the exams days were announced. Was astonished to see others getting tensed and I am like – so what! Like time waits for none; exams came and went but the actual fun is when results are out
I was never a studios student but always scored distinction in the school so was confident of it while looking to the result sheet on the notice board. And what; my exam number is not listed in for Distinction!! I scrolled down thinking maybe a first class but no I don’t see it…I keep searching for my number but didn’t find it in second class too…. I scrolled to the last grade Pass class and my face beamed like a sunshine – there it is – the very first one!!! Always contented and happy the way life placed me I was happy that I passed and so did my new friends. The days passed with a new learning each day and a remarkable one is that we have to open the window for atmosphere to come in!!! (which I religiously follow today also!!) While I Am still trying to adjust with the university environment, new friends, new learning’s and exploring the ways to find fun in load of term works and the tensed atmosphere; year end is declared and soon we had to face the exam. This time had to give my best shot so can get transferred to a better stream of engineering. Results are out and yes I passed out and also did get a change in stream from IWM to Civil (is it better is still a question) but then am happy as had made my own place in the lobby!!
The year started with the shuffle of students and I got separated from newly made friends. The new class had more girls then the earlier one but seems they didn’t like my face! Except for one tall slender beautiful girl sitting on last bench with a spark in her eye and slight curve to her lips which attracted me and I shared the bench with her unaware that she would turn out to be my friend for lifetime. I found a new friend but still I longed for the break time when I can meet the other two friends. Days passed by with routine sharing of hi hello and a smile and when did it turned into mingling for short and then long gossips, term works, group reading and sleep over; I also really don’t remember – maybe that’s what is called friendship! and so evolved a gang of four which turned out to be the notorious gang due to its mix flavor of being naughty hotty and intelligent! A gang that dared to challenge the opposite gender, played pranks with both the genders, engaged in day long discussions at times arguments and still managed to be friends with all.
But as we all know that what has started will come to an end and so did these carefree days too. We now gathered in the auditorium to receive farewell party from our juniors; felt as if it was just yesterday that I was standing in the center square of the faculty all alone and today we are seven – seven different individuals with diverse qualities woven in an invisible bond – Friendship: a relation that is created by us which is beyond any expectations. It’s the space where we can be ourselves, speak of our mind; see what we like to see and hear without prejudice; so very eternal. Blessed are those who are able to get connected in such divine relationship – yes I am!!
Seeeemmmaaaa … wake up its morning! Don’t have to go to the office…”
HAPPY NEW YEAR !
Wishing you and yours a very Happy New Year. For a while, It’s been quiet on this blog. The silence has been intentional. Every once in a while it’s important to let silence speak for itself.
2013 was blessed and yet a very solemn year. The year brought forward altered relationships, changed friendships and life. Life, a four letter word, that encompasses everything from our friends to our being, and yet we almost always take it for granted. We assume that as long as we follow the rules and do good deeds, all will be well, but the year showed me how in a minute life changes its course and suddenly every little prized possession becomes meaningless.
As I moved along in 2013, amongst all the chaos, I then saw those tiny toes and fingers. The innocent smile, the random twitch of a nose and the blink of an eye, all reassuring me of the fact that life thrives.
I would be a robot if the contrast of experiences did not force me to think of what really matters. As the year ended, and the world shared the year in review with celebrations across the globe, I made my new year resolution – More humility and more optimism. Humility for all the blessings that have been showered on me and my dear ones, optimism so I can forget the bitterness and learn to forgive.
On a more personal front, besides the usual eat healthy, be a good parent, etc…my primary goal will be to work with myself and the family to not waste. Be it electricity or food, the goal is to reduce squandering. There is way too much being wasted in this world. We talk about reducing our carbon footprint and yet we keep buying. Tangential to this is the task of de-cluttering. De-clutter both my home and FB wall 🙂 Yes, 250+ friends on FB and there are a handful who visit, so de-clutter. The gamut of ideas brewing in my head about blogging, painting, cookbooks and so much more need some direction and I know I can take them to their destination, just need to figure out how 😉
New Year’s eve: time to romance, time to indulge, time to make resolutions and underlying all these modern day celebration traditions lie ancient spiritual resolutions. In Haridwar, India you will find folks jumping into the Ganges so they can wash off a year’s worth of sins and take permission to repeat those sins in the new year. Parts of Italy, the locals are busy cleaning their houses to welcome the new year, while the Vienna folks are running after the pig, because if they can touch it, the new year will bring good luck.
However you may choose to celebrate the new year, the underlying sentiment is the same, welcome the new year with happiness and positivity.
Only the first 8 pages of the Book 2014 have been written, write the others so when the world reads them, it smiles.
I wish that all your wishes are fulfilled this year. Happy New Year.
When Life Stood Still !
Gone is the era when we hoped for some social life, looked forward to meeting long lost friends, or feel the joy of actually sitting down and writing a letter.
“Life is busy, and busy is good,” is the mantra now. From CEO’s to elementary students, we are all juggling our scribbled in calendars. If you are thinking, this is one of those posts, where I tell people to slow down and smell the roses, you are wrong. I am not going to do that, because you have been told that before by one and all.
What I am going to tell you is a little story, and maybe you have heard this story before too. But I heard it for the first time today.
To make a long story short; the children had just come back from school. The older one was a busy guy, he announced that he had two tests and one quiz to prepare for, and also that he was really tired, he wanted a break. The younger one a kindergarten genie, announced that he was also very tired and wanted to rest.
Their mom looked at them, thinking, she is also very tired, maybe she should also rest. It was one of those rare moments when all the planets were aligned perfectly and much to her surprise, she said “o.k how about we all sit down with some popcorn for a snack and watch a show or a short movie.” The kids were shocked and gave each other the glance. Is she serious, they thought. A weekday and she is asking us to sit down and watch T.V, that’s typically been a total no no with her. They just stood there, thinking she is going to laugh out loud and say “Got Ya!” But she did nothing of the sort, she picked up the remote and turned the T.V on.
The kids excitedly jumped on the couch and took their favorite spots, really looking forward to their surprise T.V time.
“This is so much better than a surprise quiz,” said the older one, while giving his younger brother a high five.
And then it happened, suddenly there was silence and their mom had the frustated, irritated look on her face. “What happened?” asked the children worried. “I don’t know, why isn’t this thing working, why is it that when we really want to watch something, this never worked,” she continued to talk with herself.
She went and picked up the phone to call the cable company only to realize the phone wasn’t working either.
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| To be connected with OR To be connected to. Its a choice! |
She tries to log on to the internet to see if the cable company’s website had any information, and of course, the internet wasn’t working either. Perfect! she said. “The one day, that I want it work, nothing happens.”
“Why don’t you text dad and ask him?” suggested the smart 5 year old. She tried, only to realize the Wifi is dead too. Great! There is no way of instant communication, she thought. She tried calling her husband, no answer.
From the time she had picked up the remote to the moment she tried calling her husband, the time lapse was only 7 minutes. And they felt like the longest 7 minutes. She told her kids to go back to studying and their normal schedule. “Why?” said the kids, “if we had been watching a movie, this would be a break, why can’t we have a break and do something else.
” No! She said firmly, I have to figure this out. So off went the kids, while she stood in the kitchen wondering what to do. She looked at the time, 8 minutes now.
She decides to have a cup of tea, and as she was filling up the kettle with water, she decides to go check the Time Capsule. It had a blinking orange light. That can’t be good, she thought. So she got the manual out and read through.
“Blinking orange” meant no internet connection. Great, so the internet was down, which meant no phone, no T.V no nothing.
Her life came to a standstill. She looked at her watch 10 minutes. How does she solve this problem? She can’t google anything. Deep in her thoughts, she dumped the water back and found the quick cheat sheet of the cable company. She read through it, nothing useful. She looked at her watch, 13 minutes.
“Mom, what is the meaning of this word?” breaks her silence. “Why don’t u google it?” she responds instantly. “I can’t. Remember,” quips the son back and “I don’t have a paper dictionary,” he reminds her again. She walks up to her son and tells him the meaning of “archipelago” and comes back to the kitchen.
It happens, she hears the humm, the humm of a new email on your smart phone. With alert ears, a racing heart and trembling fingers she picks up her phone.
YES! she shouts out loud. She quickly picks up the landline, it’s working, she turns the T.V on, its back. “What happened?” asks the 5 year old. “Nothing!” says his brother “Mom got her internet back,” beating her to the response.
“Yeahhh! Now we can watch the movie, right Mom?”asks the little one.
She looked at his pleading eyes and said, “sure, why not?” “Really!” The kids were so excited and super happy. She looks at them all smiles and says to her self, “this is better, I can post the blog later.”
You guessed it right, and I will let you separate fiction from realistic fiction from non-fiction.
But it’s worth thinking, it was measly 13 minutes, did life really stand still for her. No! she chose and made “life stand still.”
It’s yet again, one of those “Imperfectly Perfect” situations.
Lesson Learned!