2020 – Shilpa's

Quarantined Cupid wants US to Communicate.

Ahhh… the smiling cherub holding its golden arrow struggles home alone. The arrows lay gathering dust for the wary souls sit quietly in their home, in their corners typing away, buzzing away, and zooming away. A sole child gets up to play and wanders only to find emptiness. The Cupid wonders why?

From the heavens above, there opens a window and the cupid takes a peak down. The bustling Earth is quiet, the cupid wonders why? Curious and naughty as he is, he flies down, window to the window it peaks to find families living together – grandparents, big kids, small kids all living together in silence. In silence, wonders cupid why? Curious as he is, he continues to jump from window to window, he sees families living together, but now he also sees the boxes with them… some small, some big but all bright and shiny. They type, they look down and they continue to type. He now knows the silence.

Cupid knows but does not know what to do. He sees the families smile, eat together and yet there is silence. He struggles for his golden arrow is useless. It is a love arrow. He needs, break the silence arrow. He knows the Earth loves each other, but in silence.

And today 14th February 2021, the Cupid urges us to break the silence. He wants us the people to communicate again. Pick up that little box in our hands and call a friend, a loved one. Put down the phone and actually talk to the loved ones again.

Communicate, the Cupid wants us to communicate and not text a lot more.

2020, a year of isolation, and amidst all the luxuries, the only luxury we craved for was the human contact. Families were homebound, it was fun initially and then the quarantine started taking a toll on ALL of us. Kids struggled, parents were frustrated and while the Earth was healing, we the people were struggling. The one thing that got us through the pandemic was communication. WhatsApp, Messenger, iMessage, and the like kept it alive for many many of us. We were grateful for the little things… and then as the Earth allowed us to come back slowly, we started getting busy again.

We are falling, back into the trap of busyness. If there is one thing 2020 has taught me, is to talk and keep the communication alive with family, loved ones, and your friends. I know, it’s hard to pause and find time in this busy world. But we have to. I read this article yesterday and it really made me think.. we keep waiting for that perfect moment but why? If we count our lives by events as the article does, there really isn’t much left. It’s quite interesting when the events of a lifetime fit into an A4 page.

An 8.5 x 11 page is all the time we have left. Make every event dot on your page meaningful. You could argue silence is golden, however, it is in the noise that silence becomes golden, today the Earth is silent, there is no noise.

The Universe created the silence so we could hear ourselves again, so we could start communicating again.

This Valentine’s Day, give your loved ones the gift of real, live, and unadulterated talk time.

Happy Valentines Day to All of You!

A Year when we all became our very own Superhero.

I hesitate as I write this blogpost because 2020 to me is not the worst year. It is the year that forced us to pause and rethink. I know as everyone reads this, there will be eye rolls, and some of you might even stop after reading the first sentence, but I hope you give this post a chance and read through.

The year started with all of us hearing the news of Wuhan shutting down and while we all acknowledged the horror of it, we continued to be merry in our lives. We were comfortable and the routine of life continued, until one day we realized our world across the globe was in lockdown. All humans but a microscopic organism that magically found its way across oceans and desserts. It had baffled the most brilliant minds and its audacity to keep moving forward was scaring our souls.

And then it happened. The young couple knocked on their old neighbor’s door and offered to buy groceries, the mom who was always rushing against the clock stopped her car to give a hand to the homeless, the parent found empathy for the teacher, and the teacher extended the learnings beyond the four walls of a classroom.

We stood up as ONE human race.

2020, you are the ghost of the human past. You brought forward the scars, sorrows, and despair of our past actions. To heal the scars, we were forced to pause ourselves and find our internal wellsprings of strength and kindness.

COVID doesn’t differentiate, it attacks anyone it can. COVID leveled the playing field forcing us to UNITE and work together and look beyond the color, race, and gender of our beings.

Breathing safely is now a privilege and not something we can take for granted. Online communication while distant is breaking barriers and creating new bridges. As humans stay home in lockdown, animals move freely and reclaim their forests, lakes, and oceans. Companies are thinking beyond the box. Offices gather dust, while homes came alive as families found new ways to work together. The concept of “my space” takes a new meaning. Schools close, and teachers find new ways to reach out to their students. Parents are learning to learn with their kids.

We are learning that patriotism is more than fighting and protecting borders. It is about being one and working together to build a better community. The grocery store cashier, the nurse, the doctor, the delivery person, the teacher, the soldier, the neighbor next door who work together to support and thrive through the chaos are all patriotic. The heroes of today wear masks, deliver our groceries, nurse the sick to health, and simply watch out for the neighbor.

For all the wars that have been fought for religion, today ALL the faiths of the world are praying together for the safety and well-being of the human race. Doesn’t this amaze you?

I am personally blown away by how a minuscule organism forced us to think differently, act differently, and do differently. Today we are kinder, more empathetic, more united, and more aware of ourselves and the beautiful world we live in.

We found our inner strength and thrived through all obstacles. Wearing our own cape of courage we became our very own Superheroes.

The Epitome of Feminism!

India the cradle of human civilization, the country of mystic and spices, is also the country of myths and more myths. . Myths, legends, and folk tales is how we transfer our culture and value to the next generations and India has a myth for every moment in life 🙂 These myths as unscientific as they may be, are at the core of Indian culture. They ground us, and ensure we stay true to our uniqueness. India is an oxymoron. We have MOM who sends a satellite to Mars and then we have the MoM who continues to follow centuries-old myths. One such unique myth that brings forward the blend of a woman’s sensuality and strength is Karwachauth

Karwachauth – simply explained is the Indian festival of absolute fasting by a wife for the long and healthy life of her husband. In ancient India, girls got married at a very young age, there was no time to enjoy childhood or flaunt the youth, so where does one go when one misses their family; you find a fellow sister and share your thoughts. Soon this became a day when the women in the village congregated in one place and celebrated each other through prayer and worship. They fasted for their husbands not because they were submissive, but more because the myth of Savitri and Sati has taught them the power of a wife’s faith. A faith so strong that it defies the Gods themselves. A faith that teaches them to believe in their strength and become the strength of their husbands. They celebrated the strength of womanhood and gifted each other trinkets to remind each other that there is always a friend somewhere. If this is not feminism at its best, then I don’t know what is. It’s ancient India’s modern Lean In movement.

It’s all about perspectives.

Modern India calls it being servile and submitting to a regressive culture where the wife is nothing but a thing of beauty. I respectfully disagree with all my fellow feminists who feel this way. India is one of the few countries that celebrates women’s power and if that power comes with curves and glamor, more power to the women of India for they know how to ride a bicycle wearing a saree.

I fast, because not everything in life is about equality and men bashing. Men put a smile on our faces too, they just don’t fast. I am sure you have heard the age-old adage, way to a man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

Karwachauth is about a wife’s faith. The wife, who knows that she is the foundation of her home. The wife who knows that fasting is just one more way to continue to make her will power stronger. It’s about the wife who doesn’t care about being labeled, the wife who is only interested in the continued companionship and love in her life.

Karwachauth – it is about celebrating womanhood and sisterhood. It is about celebrating all women and reminding ourselves of how remarkable we are.

Karwachauth, It’s the epitome of feminism.

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VisibilityPublicPublishNovember 4, 2020 10:43 pmPost FormatAsideLinkImageQuoteStandardVideoStick to the top of the blogAuthorShilpa VermaShilpa VermaMove to Trash4 Revisions

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“Virtually”the Best Class. Congratulations High School Graduate 2020!

The class of 2020, you were born into a world where the skies were grey with the fear of hatred. The world had witnessed the twin towers fall and the Earth was shaken. Today, you are graduating amidst a global pandemic. You are seeing the era of Dr. MLK come alive and everything that seemed history is a reality. The adage history repeats itself came true. Your life has been bookended by national tragedies of modern history.

You are no stranger to adversity and this is you biggest strength.

You are missing the expected, but you are gaining the resilience – Celebrate your strength. No textbook can teach you how to live life, only Life can teach you that. 2020 is and will continue to be your learning moment. Embrace it and get the most out of it. Hold Life’s hand and let it walk you through this year. Life never was and never will be easy. This is one of the many life exams you will face and by navigating through it successfully, you are telling the world that you can handle this adult life.

The tenacity and resilience of your resolve comes through when I see you Zoom through high school unlike any other class I know. Through the myriad of changes, you opened new doors and charted new paths. We as parents watch you navigate this new world of online learning and social distancing and adapt to the new normal.

Class of 2020, maybe you already know this, but the generations before you made a zillion mistakes and those mistakes culminated to the forced pause in our lives today. We grown ups expect 15,16,17 year olds to solve global problems that were essentially created by us. You are 18, there’s not much you could have done to create the chaos we have today and yet you get blamed for the generation without emotions. It’s not true.

You are our hope. You are my hope.

Don’t follow the dreams of those who came before you. Live your own dream. It doesn’t matter how big or small your dream is, if it makes you happy, then it is big enough. It is true, some of you will go on to make life changing inventions, some will change policies, some might invent a new medicine, some will save lives, and some of you might just decide to reinvent the ice-cream truck; no matter how silly or how important your vision is, please hold on to it. Use your college education to bring that vision come alive and live your dream. The one thing you need to do for yourself is to Live your OWN dream.

Grades matter but what matters most is who you are and how you treat other people. Your success in the grown up world is going to be defined by by what the world thinks of you. So as you move forward, work your hardest with honesty and humility. The distractions will always be there, stay away from the negative, learn to zone out the noise. The next few years should be about building yourself and your dream. You have the golden opportunity to do this without the interference of your parents 🙂 make the best of it. BUILD YOURSELF!

Find that village, the village that accepts you for who you are. The village that is willing to give as much as you are and the village that brings out the best in you.

Dear Class of 2020, this year may look like the year of losses, but it is also the year of changes. It is the year when life mandates mindful living and not just a mind full. I am not trying to be the saint here, and I know that there are many who are suffering. I understand that some of us have had it harder than others and I am beyond grateful for the narrow misses I have had, but I also know that the only way to move forward is by holding on to the one tiny blessing (there always is a blessing) and gathering strength from it for the next step.

Don’t despair the moments you have missed, instead marvel at your tenacity, your resilience, your adaptability and your grace. 2020 is not the year to be missed or ignored. You don’t judge a book by it’s cover, so don’t judge the year 2020 by its face. This is the year when we boldly accepted our failures and came together in harmony so we could all breathe.

Your graduation is not in an ill-fated year, but rather you graduate in the most important year of this era. 2020 is the year of new perspectives. The world paused so we could have the blessing of your being home with us and spend those extra hours doing nothing with you. The World Paused, so we could celebrate your graduation slowly and breathe in every moment.

BE PROUD, you graduate in this iconic year of change. The history books will pen you down as a generation of determination, resilience and change makers.

Now Go in the Direction of Your Dreams and Live that Dream!

**“Virtually” the Best Class. The World Paused, so we could celebrate your graduation slowly and breathe in every moment.**

2020, Let us retire the phrase “Working Mom” because Words Matter.

Words have meanings, and how we use them decides our thought, our bias and our purpose. Words are powerful and they have the magic to persuade us to try and think differently. I’ll give you an example, There are two teenagers, you ask the same question “Do you drive?” Teenager 1 says “No.” Teenager 2 says “not yet.” They are both conveying the same meaning, but Teenager 2 conveys “hope” to be driving soon. Big difference.

Academics train us to use our words carefully and yet it fails miserably. The world teaches us to hear words and yet never teaches us how to “listen” to them.

To listen to a word, we need to pause. It is 2020, there is no time for pause.

2020, is the era of The Woman. Is it? It is 2020 and here we are, still using the phrase “Working Mom.” When I was working and when I wasn’t and now when I am working again, the phrase continues to bother me to the core. What does a “Working Mom” mean anyways? Just because a woman has a kid, doesn’t mean she becomes someone else. It simply means that she is a woman who has a kid and a job, they are two separate entities, so why is it better or harder?

Many teenagers have a job at 13, do we start calling them Working Teens? When men become dads, do we call them Working Dads? If we have gay friends, do we introduce them as such? Then why do we need to define women? The sad part of this story is most women don’t find anything wrong with the phrase, and maybe it is so because it creates an identify for them. An identity that is superior to the SAHM.

The media created the phrase “Mommy Wars,” setting up the working moms against the SAHM and thus building the negative connotations. The working mom highlighted how hard it is and so did the SAHM. The working mom emphasized on how she never has time for herself and so did the SAHM. The SAHM said “she wonders if she made the right decision” and the working mom said the same. Both feel judged, both are overwhelmed, both feel they are taken for granted and they both love their kids more than anything in the world. See what’s happening here… Both women are saying the same thing but using different words and while they are hearing each other, neither is listening.

Ladies, we need to stop identifying ourselves as “working mothers” and the struggles we face. YES, its hard and yes it’s a mad rush to pick up from day care but it is also true, that the SAHM is working equally hard. Sure, she doesn’t have to make a presentation to the company board but that’s a choice she made, so let’s stop penalizing her for those choices and bring back the respect by letting a woman be herself.

Let us STOP calling ourselves Working Moms. We are simply moms who chose to get a job. That’s all.

To the SAHM – if anyone asks you “Do you work?” Please stand tall and tell them, YES, you have X startup(s) and X being the number of kids. They may still judge you, but you have conveyed the message and cleared your path. This is a tried and tested formula 🙂 Words matter, use them to your advantage.

Every woman values respect and while we are in control of our identities, it is also true that our identity is influenced by how the world sees us. Words matter. Let us use them to realign ourselves to think of every woman as just that, a woman.

I guarantee you the day we can end this divide is the day the glass ceiling will come crashing down. The day we bring back the respect to the SAHM is the day when WE all will rise.

Tag: 2020