.….So this is November, what have you done? Another year over, and another has begun. A John Lennon classic adapted to myself keeps humming in my mind. It’s a sweet, gentle and yet such a powerful song reminding us of the minutes that just slipped by and here we are, right where we started.
Interestingly, the song fits into my life perfectly this year. 2019, It was just a normal year, and then in the blink of an eye, it reminded me of how fickle our lives are. Our ambitions, our dreams, our aspirations are all but a part of this magnum opus orchestrated by the Universe. We are nothing but a character in the masterpiece play of life.
This year has also been a test to my will power, resolve, strength and faith. In its own awkward way, it has shown me that the woman in the mirror can cry, but every morning she wakes up with nerves of steel and smiles through her day, trying her best to make a tiny positive difference in the world around her.
2019, you reminded me of the movie “The Ghost of Christmas Past” you took me through all the what if’s forced me to second guess yourself. In these moments of second guessing and seeing the ghosts of past, there were a few angels who held my hand and walked with me to show the bright future. These angels will always have my trust and friendship.
2019, you also reminded me of an old forgotten blogpost A friend; someone I can be silent with. I have been blessed with an amazing bouquet of friends that I cherish and yet 2019 was a poignant reminder of who I can call at mid-nite and who I cannot 🙂 When friends of decades closed their doors and friends of days opened them wide, I realized; friends sometimes, come in for a season only.
Friendships don’t end to those who we meet, they extend to our families too. We need to be true to them. Partnerships evolve and mature to go beyond the need of love to a need of companionship and acceptance. The entity needs love, respect, space to grow and most importantly it needs sacrifice. Sacrifice of self goals to fuel and nurture the other members in the family.
2019, you gave me a brutal reminder of what success means to me. I have always trusted my inner instincts. I live in a predominantly Indian community and there is no doubt that I am the black sheep in the Indian community here. I am the mom who says no homework is good, I am the mom who tells her son, if you have to cuss, please be on the field with your friends and no where near the classrooms or families. I am the mom who tells her daughter that her to be an artist is an excellent dream.
Defining success in our own terms allows us to see the impact at the individual level. We must be willing to see the differences we have made in our community, our careers, our workplace and acknowledge them. We as humans look for these big sweeping rewards for our efforts and thus making every effort worthy only if rewarded. This expectation of being rewarded creates a sense of unworthiness sometimes and is wrong at every level. We are being unfair to ourselves. Success is in our smiles, in our positive attitude, in our whistling, in our faith and in our belief of Pronoia.
2019, most importantly, you showed me I need to be creative. The act of creating kept me alive. The candles brought life back. The candles are not a business to me, they keep my soul alive. I also realized, the little changes we make, have this ripple effect that make a huge difference. The tiny act of changing the seasonal decor in my home, brought smiles one evening, reminding me who I am.
I was the little girl in the mirror, who always saw the world with a looking glass. Today, I am the woman in the mirror who knows there is no looking glass and yet to keep the magic and her smile she continues to believe she will find one.
The Alchemist found it, and so will I. Happy Birthday to Me!
