Tag: education

Pronoia!

And I took that step at 50 years. When many are thinking about retirement, it is nothing short of crazy that I am starting a new career. After raising a family for 15 years, and spending countless hours volunteering at schools, when it was time to think about career part two, education seemed like a natural transition. However, wanting to be a teacher and actually teaching are two very different wants, and so started my journey as a para educator. After working for 5 years as a para educator, I learned how to communicate with students and gain the skills of one on one teaching. Then came the pandemic and while it created havoc for many families, it was also the much needed pause education industry needed. The dichotomy and deficits of the education policies came forward, EdTech took leaps of innovation, and as parents struggled to balance work and kids at home, for the first time in many decades teachers were at the center and their work was now meaningful. Somewhere in this pandemic, I also took a leap of faith and made the decision to apply for teaching role. I had genuinely thought, HR will come back and tell me the gaps in my resume and then I will need to build it up, but to my surprise, I was offered a role at my neighborhood high school.

I remember my first day in Jan 2022 – here I was hyper excited, but my enthusiasm was short lived because many in the department even before working with me, concluded, I can’t do this job. I genuinely thought of going back and spoke to the admin who interviewed me, a seasoned educator himself, he told me to take the day off ,and said, tomorrow will be a new day. I will always be grateful to him for this advise. I took this day off to find my village and after debating with myself, I emailed a veteran teacher at the school. Ms. A (now retired) responded, my door is open, come on in, and then there was Ms. P and Ms. K. The next day, I met my program specialist, Dr. H, and, so started the journey. I am forever grateful, and thankful to these two ladies, for showing me the way, how to write my IEPs, and reassuring me that I can do this. Along the way, I now have Ms. K next door, a fellow believer in Pronoia and it’s been the best few months. Ms. P and Ms. K were the lifelines of the classroom and together, we slowly started moving forward.

June 2024, I completed my second year of teaching at the high school and it is also the season of graduations. , I paid my dues, and after 2 years of college studies, with intern teaching, I officially turned the nay’s into yay’s and am now an Ed.Specialist. This journey has been very hard, very rewarding and I saw Pronoia in action. There were days when I was bone tired, mentally exhausted, and yet I managed to write the reports, complete CTC portfolios and more. The Universe kept me sane, and introduced me to people who shared the same values. I know I am blowing my own trumpet but I am so proud of myself, and happy with myself for not listening to the negatives and moving forward with the positives.

This journey would not have been possible, had it not been for the ASAP family… Together, you inspire more than you will ever know, and thank you for being patient with all those weeks when dinner was a takeout or a left over meal. Husband dear, your whistles reassure that this crazy roller coaster life will sort itself out. To my children – let this journey be a reminder that it is never too late to take a u -turn or walk a different path, especially if it feels right to you. I hope as you evaluate your career choices, you will continue to find opportunities that inspire you to get up everyday with a bounce in your step and a smile on your face. To my parents, I hope somewhere in this journey, you saw the values and the grit you instilled in me, and to all who said a no to me, I owe you a special thank you, because your no to me, helped me find the grit in me to move forward, so thank you!

In this journey, I have often stood on the side and made my notes .. Musings of an Educator… soon to come. Until then, stay well and stay you.

Very Happy for ME!

Are we killing the creative mind?

Think outside the box, but …
Remember to color between the lines
Remember to learn music
Oh and soccer too
Let us not forget Marching Band, AP classes and more
Do not ask too many questions in class
Do exactly like the teacher says
Don’t day dream in school
Don’t wiggle in the chair
Don’t challenge the conventional
Don’t jump out of the box

But please remember to be uniquely you
Remember to think outside the box.

Constraints, restrictions, rules and regulations; Are we killing the creative mind?

Mind, brain, our natural computer or just a web of delicate neurons intertwined in the most efficient manner, charged with the right impulses can help us reach the moon, smash a forehand, run a marathon and so much more. It is no secret that the human brain is nature at its best. It is perfect and yet it continues to evolve with every generation.

We are all born with a brain which is fundamentally a mass of pink tissue approximately 1.3 kg in weight with billions of cells and trillions of connections. As babies we are nurtured. Our squeals and screams are understood, we are encouraged to play with paint.  The mess doesn’t bother the grown ups because this is how babies learn.  The babies start walking, they are encouraged to ride a bike, they fall down, scrape an ankle, maybe even break a bone, they are encouraged to continue riding a bike because falling and getting up is grit.  Fast forward a few years and today the box of legos sits in the garage gathering dust. The bag of crayons, markers and color pencils has been replaced with pens and highlighters. The puzzle books have been shoved away by science and math books.

The desire to try and explore is lost in the maze of fear and failure. 

We, the parents have taken our fears of failure and added demands on the system, on the teachers and on the kids. Please don’t say, “No I haven’t,” because at some point you did.  Every time you told your kid to focus on math and science, you killed creativity. Every time you found a tuition teacher for better grades, you killed your childs’ ability to fall and get up on their own strength. Every time you told your child to choose an activity that looks good on the college application, you killed their passion and their ability to be unique.  We the parents are to blame.

Guess what, I have made ALL OF THE ABOVE and much many more mistakes myself. Month after month of “making mistakes,” thankfully summer came; it was the time when I could stand back and look at my kids without the fear of grades and failure. I realized two things; first kids need freedom and second they need constraints too. Yes, being creative, being independent, being gritty are all essential traits for success, but they are all a a double edged sword too. 

Give your kids too much freedom and they won’t know what to do with themselves. Give your kid too many constraints and they will feel stifled. So what is the right mix? I wish I knew. I do know that if we give our kids a box of legos and say “get creative,” they fidget with the legos for a long time before actually getting creative, however if we give them a box of legos and say, “you have to create something within 60 minutes that is an example of future cars,” then we have given them something to think about within a framework. They have constraints, but constraints to encourage creativity not hinder it. 

To be creative, independent and to develop grit, kids need freedom within a framework. You the parent creates the framework and rules. Rules that allow them to explore without driving you insane. A fun fact about rules, it takes days, weeks, maybe months to establish them. You are trying to teach your child grit. You will need it first. Rules will be broken. You will sound like a broken record and that’s okay. Let the record play on repeat. It’s worth it.

Here’s what I try to do everyday to encourage creativity, independence and build grit in myself and my kids. Yes, myself too.

  • Encourage them to take the simple decisions. Let them decide which summer camp, which summer course, which game to play, let your teen decide his/her clubs in school and so forth. It is the adult paradox that kids can’t think.  On one hand we tell them to go volunteer in the real world, be different and do the exceptional and on the other hand we plan it all out for them. Awkward, isn’t it?  Let the kids decide.
  • Take them on journeys. The caveat here is, it should be something they like to do. So if you have a fashionista, take her to the mall and go window shopping or give her a budget and ask her to come up with a wardrobe for you. She might think you are crazy, but will take pride in finding some shopping steals for you. If you have an out doors kid, go to the beach, build sand castles, race the waves and more.  Our brain unlike other organs in our body is a social organ. The fundamental structure of our brain is defined at birth, but it continues to evolve and sculpt itself through life’s daily experiences. So go ahead, give them experiences, every experience leaves an imprint that the brain builds upon. If you take them on a negative journey, it’s going to backfire.
  • Watch movies. Yes, this is a weird suggestion, however it is an inexpensive idea to boost those creative neurons again and spend some quality time together. There is a movie on every subject, pick movies that work best for your kid and enjoy the imaginative world. You have a runner, there’s Race, Mcfarland,USA and so many more. You have a reading whiz, there’s Akeelah and the Bee. Gymnastics; there’s Gabby Douglas life story.  A child who learns differently; Show them how “A beautiful mind” can change the world.  Movies are and can be a potential source of inspiration. Use them to your advantage.
  • Read with them. Like movies, there is a book on every subject. Maybe you don’t have a reader in your home. That’s okay. Get them comics, or light reading books. Encourage the habit and it will slowly build upon itself.  If they like reading on the internet, find articles and start sending it to them. If your little one likes to watch TV, turn on the close captioning and mute the volume. The idea is to read.
  • Your kids are not you. The kids come through us but not for us. Often we forget this and remind them of our vision and definition of success. Maybe it was important for you to drive a BMW as your first car. Your child may not care and might be happy with a Honda. That’s okay.
  • Let them be. It’s okay if your child doesn’t want to go and help save endangered species or start a non profit. Celebrate the simple and ordinary they have. It is this ordinary child that makes your world extraordinary. They have to believe in themselves before the world starts believing them. Celebrate the ordinary. 
  • Parent them to develop and internal locus of control. This is hard, very hard. As an adult, I am still struggling with it.  Let them know that they are the masters of their destiny. Teach them the concept of Pronoia. If they believe in Pronoia, they will learn to stop blaming the world for their problems and take charge of their life.

Learning to be independent, developing grit and all in while being creative and different is a very tall order for anyone. Be patient with yourself and your child. Believe in them. It takes nerves of steel to walk a path untrodden. Thinking outside the box is an overused term today. Let your child be themselves, let them believe in themselves, because that’s when they will be unique and out of the box.