Faith – Shilpa's

Pronoia!

And I took that step at 50 years. When many are thinking about retirement, it is nothing short of crazy that I am starting a new career. After raising a family for 15 years, and spending countless hours volunteering at schools, when it was time to think about career part two, education seemed like a natural transition. However, wanting to be a teacher and actually teaching are two very different wants, and so started my journey as a para educator. After working for 5 years as a para educator, I learned how to communicate with students and gain the skills of one on one teaching. Then came the pandemic and while it created havoc for many families, it was also the much needed pause education industry needed. The dichotomy and deficits of the education policies came forward, EdTech took leaps of innovation, and as parents struggled to balance work and kids at home, for the first time in many decades teachers were at the center and their work was now meaningful. Somewhere in this pandemic, I also took a leap of faith and made the decision to apply for teaching role. I had genuinely thought, HR will come back and tell me the gaps in my resume and then I will need to build it up, but to my surprise, I was offered a role at my neighborhood high school.

I remember my first day in Jan 2022 – here I was hyper excited, but my enthusiasm was short lived because many in the department even before working with me, concluded, I can’t do this job. I genuinely thought of going back and spoke to the admin who interviewed me, a seasoned educator himself, he told me to take the day off ,and said, tomorrow will be a new day. I will always be grateful to him for this advise. I took this day off to find my village and after debating with myself, I emailed a veteran teacher at the school. Ms. A (now retired) responded, my door is open, come on in, and then there was Ms. P and Ms. K. The next day, I met my program specialist, Dr. H, and, so started the journey. I am forever grateful, and thankful to these two ladies, for showing me the way, how to write my IEPs, and reassuring me that I can do this. Along the way, I now have Ms. K next door, a fellow believer in Pronoia and it’s been the best few months. Ms. P and Ms. K were the lifelines of the classroom and together, we slowly started moving forward.

June 2024, I completed my second year of teaching at the high school and it is also the season of graduations. , I paid my dues, and after 2 years of college studies, with intern teaching, I officially turned the nay’s into yay’s and am now an Ed.Specialist. This journey has been very hard, very rewarding and I saw Pronoia in action. There were days when I was bone tired, mentally exhausted, and yet I managed to write the reports, complete CTC portfolios and more. The Universe kept me sane, and introduced me to people who shared the same values. I know I am blowing my own trumpet but I am so proud of myself, and happy with myself for not listening to the negatives and moving forward with the positives.

This journey would not have been possible, had it not been for the ASAP family… Together, you inspire more than you will ever know, and thank you for being patient with all those weeks when dinner was a takeout or a left over meal. Husband dear, your whistles reassure that this crazy roller coaster life will sort itself out. To my children – let this journey be a reminder that it is never too late to take a u -turn or walk a different path, especially if it feels right to you. I hope as you evaluate your career choices, you will continue to find opportunities that inspire you to get up everyday with a bounce in your step and a smile on your face. To my parents, I hope somewhere in this journey, you saw the values and the grit you instilled in me, and to all who said a no to me, I owe you a special thank you, because your no to me, helped me find the grit in me to move forward, so thank you!

In this journey, I have often stood on the side and made my notes .. Musings of an Educator… soon to come. Until then, stay well and stay you.

Very Happy for ME!

Navratri ReDefined!

India, the land of mystic, magic, and myth. It’s perpetually impossible to talk about India and not mention the 32 crore gods or maybe more the country worships and the for many that God is Goddess Durga and Navratri is a celebration of and for her.

Navratri literally translates to “nine nights. The mythological stories behind Navratri are nothing short of amazing. India has the holy trinity or as Hindu’s cal it Trimurti. Brahma is the creator of the Universe, Vishnu is the preserver and Shiva is responsible for the change, both as in the form of the destroyer of evil or death and also as in the destroyer of ego. It just so happened that a long time ago, amongst all the good and bliss, there lived a demon called Mahishasur. He wanted to be eternal, so he started praying to Lord Shiva, did penance for years, and finally was granted the boon, that no man or god will ever be able to kill him. Upon receiving the boon, his cruelty knew no limits, he conquered Earth and in his blind arrogance then set his eyes on “Indralok,” the home of the Gods. The Gods were now worried and as you can imagine were furious at Lord Shiva for granting him such a boon. Shiva is also the angry yogi, the one who meditates and when his mediation is broken, is awakened with rage that has no control. From his rage came a bright light that merged with the rays from Vishnu and Brahma, to create this beautiful and absolutely amazing woman. Woman, yes, because remember the boon was “no man or god. The woman came to be called, Shakti meaning strength or power. She possessed the power of all the deities in the heavenly abode. She had one mission, to save the Universe and destroy Mahishasur and all demons.

Goddess Durga — Shakti destroys evil to restore peace on Earth

Gods, all men, created this woman to do the task that they could not. They gave her their strength to save the Earth and the Universe. In a sense, Shakti is the essence of the lords, it is the cosmic energy. She is merciful, knowledgeable, powerful, and bestows her disciples with materialistic grandeur and spiritual freedom. She sits on a lion and has ten weapons. Over time Shakti took nine forms, and every day of Navratri celebrates each manifestation, with the most popular being Goddess Durga. Shakti got the name Durga after she destroyed the demon Durg.

Navratri is mythological India’s Woman’s day celebration.

Personally, for me, my favorite is the 8th day. The eighth day is called Ashtami. It is the day when we celebrate the girl child. Little girls, pure and innocent mortal forms of The Goddesses are welcomed into loving homes. They are pampered with gifts galore and in turn, the little angels shower their giggly blessings and love on the family. Soon these angels grow up and cross the threshold into womanhood. Tradition says they are no longer innocent.

Today, let’s talk about it. The Period.

The Period makes us a woman and yet we choose to shun the very essence of us. The Period is nothing more than pain and discomfort that the female body goes through the majority of her life. Every month she bleeds so when the moment is right she can bring a new life into this world. That’s pretty amazing! It’s a supernatural wondrous quality.

A few years ago, I reinvented Ashtami and chose to celebrate the daughters in my life and not their bodies. My relationship with the Goddess Durga gives me the strength to believe that the Goddess will not punish me for pampering the daughters in my life. She is a woman and she knows the Period gives birth and so it cannot be taboo.

I choose to celebrate their strength, their smile, their giggles, and their hugs.

It is time we the women reinvent faith and beliefs.

It’s time we understand that – The Period is a part of every woman and we all exist because of The Period.

So rightfully, Navratri to me has become the celebration of women. And this year, I did exactly that… Invited my girlfriends and celebrated them with the same glory as I celebrate the daughters. These girlfriends are the Goddesses in my life who make it possible every single day.

As Bhavani, we give birth for if there was no “garbha” or womb, there would be no world. As Parvati, we stand next to our consort through all times, like Annapurna, we feed our family before feeding ourselves, as Saraswati we teach our kids the value of knowledge, as Kali, we fiercely protect all we love, as Laxmi we use the wealth wisely, as Sati and Sita we prove our loyalty in every era.

Navratri celebrates all forms of Shakti, the beautiful one and the scary Kali too, thus telling us women that irrespective of what the world says, YOU are beautiful in your own special way. Every woman has a quality that the other does not have, and when we unite, we are a Shakti that can change the world.

Let us remember that we as women come in all shapes are sizes. We are not born to compete with each other but rather to complement each other and make the world possible.

Be YOU, Be BEAUTIFUL!

I cannot end this post, without showing you a glimpse of the Navratri celebrations in the Indian state of Gujarat. Enjoy!

The sheer numbers are nothing like you have seen in the US. It looks crazy, but trust me there is a beautiful method to the madness here.
A Glimpse of Navratri celebrations in Gujarat.

Goddess Durga on the lion Navratri Celebrations — The Goddess is within the Woman

The Epitome of Feminism!

India the cradle of human civilization, the country of mystic and spices, is also the country of myths and more myths. . Myths, legends, and folk tales is how we transfer our culture and value to the next generations and India has a myth for every moment in life 🙂 These myths as unscientific as they may be, are at the core of Indian culture. They ground us, and ensure we stay true to our uniqueness. India is an oxymoron. We have MOM who sends a satellite to Mars and then we have the MoM who continues to follow centuries-old myths. One such unique myth that brings forward the blend of a woman’s sensuality and strength is Karwachauth

Karwachauth – simply explained is the Indian festival of absolute fasting by a wife for the long and healthy life of her husband. In ancient India, girls got married at a very young age, there was no time to enjoy childhood or flaunt the youth, so where does one go when one misses their family; you find a fellow sister and share your thoughts. Soon this became a day when the women in the village congregated in one place and celebrated each other through prayer and worship. They fasted for their husbands not because they were submissive, but more because the myth of Savitri and Sati has taught them the power of a wife’s faith. A faith so strong that it defies the Gods themselves. A faith that teaches them to believe in their strength and become the strength of their husbands. They celebrated the strength of womanhood and gifted each other trinkets to remind each other that there is always a friend somewhere. If this is not feminism at its best, then I don’t know what is. It’s ancient India’s modern Lean In movement.

It’s all about perspectives.

Modern India calls it being servile and submitting to a regressive culture where the wife is nothing but a thing of beauty. I respectfully disagree with all my fellow feminists who feel this way. India is one of the few countries that celebrates women’s power and if that power comes with curves and glamor, more power to the women of India for they know how to ride a bicycle wearing a saree.

I fast, because not everything in life is about equality and men bashing. Men put a smile on our faces too, they just don’t fast. I am sure you have heard the age-old adage, way to a man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

Karwachauth is about a wife’s faith. The wife, who knows that she is the foundation of her home. The wife who knows that fasting is just one more way to continue to make her will power stronger. It’s about the wife who doesn’t care about being labeled, the wife who is only interested in the continued companionship and love in her life.

Karwachauth – it is about celebrating womanhood and sisterhood. It is about celebrating all women and reminding ourselves of how remarkable we are.

Karwachauth, It’s the epitome of feminism.

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The Girl, The Woman, The Goddess.

Once upon a time in the heavens above lived The Trinity – Brahma, the Creator; Vishnu, The Perpetuator; and Shiva, The Destroyer. Shiva though the one who gets angry quickly is also the innocent one, the generous one who bestows his blessings in abundance to all who worship him. The demons knew of his strength and they worship him and worship him more, they get blessed with immortality, when no man could destroy them. Lo and behold Mother Earth bore the pain of this blessing, and then when the pain was unbearable, the Trinity created her – The Goddess. They called upon her to save them for she was valor, strength and knowledge living in harmony with her surroundings. The harmony gave her the freedom to be who she chose to be. The Goddess restored peace on Earth and all was well in the heavens.

Mythological India, is a goddess worshipping culture considers their women, the giver of life. The men had their own roles, they were the providers. In essence, humans had found their balance and there was a man in every woman and a woman in every man. There was no room for competition. Then we discovered the fire, the wheel, the industry and here we are in 2020, still struggling with the fundamentals.

The Indian festival of Navratri celebrates the Goddesses Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswathi. It is nine days of fasting, dancing and celebration. Consider it the mythological India’s Woman’s day celebration. Personally for me, my favorite is the 8th day. The eighth day is called Ashtami. It is the day when we celebrate the girl child.

Little girls, pure and innocent mortal forms of The Goddesses are welcomed into loving homes. They are pampered with gifts galore and in turn the little angels shower their giggly blessings and love on the family. Soon these angels grow up and cross the threshold into woman hood. Tradition says they are no longer innocent.

Today, let’s talk about it.The Period.

Is it the girls fault that she grew up? Is it her fault that she was blessed with the gift of bearing the next generation? Is it her fault that she has no control of the when and where of The Period? If your answer to all these questions was no, then I ask you again, why do you stop worshipping her?

The Period, makes us a woman and yet we choose to shun the very essence of us. The Period is nothing more than pain and discomfort that the female body goes through majority of her life. Every month she bleeds so when the moment is right she can bring a new life into this world. That’s pretty amazing! It’s a supernatural wondrous quality.

The Period does not kill the sacred Tulsi plant. The Period does not curse a temple and The Period definitely does not ruin Navratri. We are worshiping the Goddesses, they are women too. Their mortal forms probably had gone through the same pain. They get it. The Goddesses are not going to punish if we choose to worship them with The Period. The Goddesses will not curse, should we choose to celebrate the young woman in your life. We call them “Mata”, which means Mother. Do we really believe that a mom will punish her daughters for stopping by to say hello?

This Navratri, I reinvented my celebrations by choosing to celebrate the daughters in my life. This Navratri I reinvented my celebrations and promised my self to continue Ashtami well into the adolescent years, and beyond of all the daughters I hold close to my heart. I choose to celebrate their strength, their smile, their giggles and their hugs.

It is time we the women reinvent faith and beliefs.

It’s time we understand that The Period is a part of every woman and we all exist because of The Period.

The Agnostic Believer.

She was born with skin as white as snow and hair that shone like gold. Beautiful like the heavens above, the warriors and sailors were yearning for a glimpse. From the fair skinned Aryans to Alexander the great, followed by the Mughals and the Europeans; it was hard to resist the tantalizing stories of her mystical beauty, so they came and came again and slowly took it all. The warriors knew that a family so old, holds its roots strong so they created walls. Walls that led to barriers and even bigger dividers. It wasn’t until a weak petite soldier stood up one day and said enough is enough and started walking miles to create salt and fight the gold diggers. People laughed and said, break an empire with salt? He said sure, and like a turtle, he slowly and steadily won the race, making her free again. and so was born modern India.

India was free and once again welcomed cultures from far and near; but something was different. The abundance was missing, the brotherhood was gone and there was a new ruler, the people called him God. God he was present in all forms. Some thought he was dark complexioned while some thought he was fair like the Aryans who came centuries ago. There was confusion, but the people of India were used to rulers, after all they had had so many of them, so they followed again and they continued to let their God govern their decisions.

When things went wrong they prayed to him and when their wishes were granted, they thanked him and went on with their lives. When things went wrong again, they believed in him again and prayed, but this time their wish wasn’t granted, so they went and sought advise from a neighbor who claimed to have a direct connection with God. The direct connection said, “to get something you have to give something too.” The giving happened and created huge houses where God lived with his direct connection. They lived in luxury while his disciples sat outside waiting for a morsel; and so continued the story of India, until an alien space ship landed and out stepped an extra terrestrial.

The extra terrestrial was stark naked like truth and he walked the earth with bare feet. He knew no language for the purest thoughts are felt and not spoken. He then saw another one who looked at him, excited he ran to meet him, but this other one, while he was similar did not feel the same. He had wickedness in him. He stole the aliens only possession – his communicator to his home planet and ran away. The alien didn’t know what do now, so he started walking in the hope to find his remote communicator. In his quest, he learnt the language and started asking questions. His questions were confusing to the people of India. They thought he was ridiculing them. The started saying “PeeKay hain kya,” which translates to “are you drunk.” The alien in his innocence thought they named him PK, and he was happy he had a name. His questions continued, and when India got tired of answering his questions, they finally said, “we don’t know, ask God.”

God; thought PK, and so started his journey to find God. He went to the temples, they told him to go to the church, he went to the church, they told him to go to the mosque, he went to the mosque they sent him back to the temples. He thought maybe it was the wrong kind of God. He looked around; he saw people praying to stones, praying to trees, worshiping cows and it only made him more confused. He asked more questions and finally met the “Man of God.” The one man who said he had answers to all the questions for God spoke directly to him. PK challenged him and all who listened to him.

His questions were simple and yet baffling. So is the story of the newest Bollywood hit movie PK.

PK, the movie; brings forth the bigotry of Indian religion in a humane and fun way. Opponents or the puritans have criticized the movie for its attack on Hinduism thus missing the whole point of the movie. The movie does not attack Hinduism, but rather brings forth the point that hinduism like Swami Vivekanand said “is a way of life.” and not a religion confined by set guidelines. Every state in India celebrates Diwali (the most revered Hindu festival) in a different manner, then how can it be a confined religion. Hinduism is more of a belief. Over centuries of slavery and blending of cultures, religion crept into culture of Hinduism. I may be wrong, but at the essence of Hinduism is OM, perhaps you have heard it at every yoga class. What does it mean? Again, its entirely your interpretation, some say it is the Holy trinity, some say it is the infinite universe and the very embodiment of our soul. There are as many interpretations, as there are people.

The movie shines light on the fact that a very large majority in India are agonistic believers in denial. While we know that God does not want us to walk bear foot for miles to have our wishes fulfilled, we still do it for the fear of God. This includes me too. I know that God is not going to punish my family if I don’t stay hungry and thirsty all day, and yet every year I look forward to Karwachauth (the most sacred festival for a Hindu married wife) but only if you are from Northern India. Wives from Southern India even though Hindu are exempt from this, they have their own rules 🙂

The movie is 3 hours long, but it doesn’t for a moment have a dull moment. It is a brilliant narrative of the adage “faith begins where logic ends.” It is brilliant for its capability to shine light on a delicate topic in a non threatening manner. So the question is why is it generating such a conflict of opinions, I think; because of the ending.. the movie rather than having a “all is well” Happy Ending, leaves the audience with questions in their mind. It does not give any answers, which personally I think, is again a stroke of brilliance, because religion is very personal.

It left me feeling agnostic and yet I am afraid to stop believing.

Tag: Faith