Tag: family

The epitome of Feminism!

India the cradle of human civilization, the country of mystic and spices, is also the country of myths and more myths. . Myths, legends, and folk tales is how we transfer our culture and value to the next generations and India has a myth for every moment in life 🙂 These myths as unscientific as they may be, are at the core of Indian culture. They ground us, and ensure we stay true to our uniqueness. India is an oxymoron. We have MOM who sends a satellite to Mars and then we have the MoM who continues to follow centuries-old myths. One such unique myth that brings forward the blend of a woman’s sensuality and strength is Karwachauth

Karwachauth –  simply explained is the Indian festival of absolute fasting by a wife for the long and healthy life of her husband. In ancient India, girls got married at a very young age, there was no time to enjoy childhood or flaunt the youth, so where does one go when one misses their family; you find a fellow sister and share your thoughts. Soon this became a day when the women in the village congregated in one place and celebrated each other through prayer and worship. They fasted for their husbands not because they were submissive, but more because the myth of Savitri and Sati has taught them the power of a wife’s faith. A faith so strong that it defies the Gods themselves. A faith that teaches them to believe in their strength and become the strength of their husbands. They celebrated the strength of womanhood and gifted each other trinkets to remind each other that there is always a friend somewhere. If this is not feminism at its best, then I don’t know what is. It’s ancient India’s modern Lean In movement.

It’s all about perspectives.

Modern India calls it being servile and submitting to a regressive culture where the wife is nothing but a thing of beauty. I respectfully disagree with all my fellow feminists who feel this way. India is one of the few countries that celebrates women’s power and if that power comes with curves and glamor, more power to the women of India for they know how to ride a bicycle wearing a saree.

I fast, because not everything in life is about equality and men bashing. Men put a smile on our faces too, they just don’t fast. I am sure you have heard the age-old adage, way to a man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

Karwachauth is about a wife’s faith. The wife, who knows that she is the foundation of her home. The wife who knows that fasting is just one more way to continue to make her will power stronger. It’s about the wife who doesn’t care about being labeled, the wife who is only interested in the continued companionship and love in her life. 

Karwachauth – it is about celebrating womanhood and sisterhood. It is about celebrating all women and reminding ourselves of how remarkable we are.

Karwachauth, It’s the epitome of feminism. 

There is “Always” something to be thankful for.

Precious is Time,
Fill it with Happiness,
and retain Appreciation
Cherish the Neighbor
Celebrate the Kin
Remember to  Smile

THANKS for everything
Happy Thanksgiving!

My question to you today is, what is the one thing you are most thankful for?

images-2For me that one thing is being alive. I am thankful for being alive today. I know it’s one of those “obviously” answers but how many times do we actually say, “thank you for letting me see another sun rise.” I very rarely did, until recently. Nothing matters if we cease to exist; the job, the home, the car, the prized jewelry collections.. . it all goes away the moment we stop breathing.

This thanksgiving, I am slowing down to think about all that I am thankful for. The list below will continue to build, I know;  for now it’s a good start….

  • I am thankful to my Mom for she chose to give life to me. She had a choice.
  • I am thankful to my dad for giving my mom the freedom to be herself.
  • I am thankful my parents gave me education. Many born in my times, were denied.
  • I am thankful we said Yes. He doesn’t surprise me with roses. He does better  – makes every wish list come true. From going to Alaska to steam cleaning the carpet – he makes it happen.
  • I am thankful for loving, annoying, sometimes very annoying kids.
  • I am thankful they can eat, walk, talk and talk back.
  • I am thankful for dirty dishes, they have a story to tell.
  • I am thankful for a messy home, it means the kids are being themselves.
  • I am thankful my husband helps me wash and fold the piles of  laundry.
  • I am thankful for my art and this blog. The two have kept me sane in some of the darkest moments of my life.
  • I am thankful YOU are reading this.
  • I am thankful for being able to be a SAHM for my kids. I always tell my kids, you have the luxury of a SAHM, enjoy it 🙂
  • I am thankful I found the concept of “volunteering.”  Volunteering has made me a better human being and found me the best friendships I have today.
  • I am thankful to my friends who have patiently waited for me was I found my way through life.
  • I am thankful I still believe in Santa Claus.
  • I am thankful I found the word Unfuckwithable and Pronoia – After I understood the meaning and importance of these two words, life became so simple.

Being thankful  is not an annual event. Gratitude should be expressed daily.  Say thank you for all that is going right in your life. Say thank you for all you have. You could always hope and wish more was happening and there in your life, but never forget, you could also have less.

Say Thank you to Life, so Life knows you are grateful and Life in turn will continue to bless you.

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What does it mean to be a Woman?

What does it mean to be a a Woman?  Have you ever thought about this simple yet confusing question. I didn’t until today. Today is International Woman’s Day. A day when we celebrate the social, economic, professional successes of women. The day also emphasizes on gender parity both socially and professionally. Being a woman myself and the mother of daughter, it is an empowering day, but the question remains, What does it mean to be a woman?

Am I a woman, because I have the gift to bear a child or am I a woman because nature made me so? Who is a woman? In my quest, I asked this question to 3 different What’s App women group that I am a part of and my hope was to find that one common element that connects us all women, irrespective of our social, marital or professional statuses.

The responses left me with more questions.

Majority of the women who chose to respond, connected being a woman to being a mother and having a family.  Audaciously, I asked what about he women who choose not to give birth or those who cannot, what about those women who choose to stay single ; Are they not women?  I continued to ask, weren’t we women before we got married or had kids? Biologically, a girl embarks on the journey of womanhood the day she has her first period. Life of innocence as the girl knew, changes after her first menstrual cycle. So, why do we peg womanhood to kids and family? The question remains.

I look around me and I see women in power at the pinnacle of their careers, I see mom’s pushing the stroller and happily smiling without a worry of their career and I see women juggling and shunting between work and school pick ups and driving away to soccer practice. What is the common factor is all these women?

Woman you are a mystery. Are you the one who uses her magnetism to allure or are you the one who feels complete when men flatter?  Are you the one who takes pride in giving birth to a civilization or are you the one who stands tall because you nurture a generation?  In my opinion, this is where we are confused. This is where feminism goes extreme. We the women call ourselves special and different because we give birth, we nurture, we care, we work and we can do anything that a man can do.  True. We the women can. But by defining ourselves as such, we start this never ending game of opposites.

Man and woman were never intended to be supplemental to each other. They were designed by nature to be complimentary. So why are we always gloating at the qualities. Men work hard too, there are many dad’s out there who are just as good as any mom. Sure men can’t give birth, but that’s just anatomy. Isn’t being a woman contradictory enough, then why do we enter this game of opposites in the name of feminism. Today’s feminism talks about choices. The woman say it’s MY CHOICE. Is it? Don’t misunderstand me, I agree 100% with women empowerment, and women empowerment is about letting the woman make her choices however in this global society called “The world” choices can only be made within boundaries. When we the women fight for our rights, we are fundamentally shouting and accepting that we are not equal. Why do we do that? This is a quandary, why don’t we as women respect ourselves, accept that we are powerful just because we are born as women?

I may be an oddity here, but I think in this race for gender parity we have lost our own definition. Being a woman is not about having a career. It is not about being perfect, patient, caring, nurturing, a child bearer, a lover, a mother or a wife. Being a woman is simply about being YOU. 

If we want to break through the proverbial glass ceiling and create parity, we first must accept ourselves and unite. We must first become less judgmental of ourselves and ask Woman, are you real?   A friend in my XFBF (extended FB family) asked a question, why do we women compliment each other more, while men don’t? Men compliment too, just not the way we do. We, the women call each other hot and sexy. Men compliment each other about the new lawn mower or the outstanding man cave in the basement. Men don’t care about vanity, we do. To me this is nature’s way of balancing things. It’s not about opposites. So this woman’s day, let us stop comparing ourselves to men.  Just as women evolve, men evolve too from a being a son, to a brother, a husband and a dad.  The difference is they don’t forget themselves, but women in their quest to be the great mystical characters we are portrayed to be, forget themselves. We shouldn’t. It took me 44 years to understand this truth, so if you don’t agree with me, that’s okay. Accept that you are a powerful soul simply because you are woman.

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PC: Seema Abhale (An engineer by profession, a photographer by passion and a woman of substance as a whole)

I started this blogpost with the question, what does it mean to be a woman?  I went back and looked at my adolescent years, my young adult years and I looked at myself today. The answer was then clear. I was a woman before I met my husband or had kids. I never looked at the men as a reason to find or make myself complete. Sure, the youthful years enjoy an admiration and compliment or two, but that did not define me. On the contrary what made me feel complete was the sisterhood of like minded women. It’s always been about building a commonality and then finding the nurture in it. Maybe that’s why being a full time mom was a no brainer.

Being a woman is to be feminine enough to raise a community and masculine enough to feed it.