I crave intellection
I reject objection
I demand correction
I resist reflection
I am Perfection.
Perfection, you are not the friend I met. You taught me to excel, you taught me to achieve but you always wanted more. Perfection, you make no mistakes and demand flawlessness. I try and try very hard, yet there is always something that could be better and no amount of effort is good enough. I despair and start doubting myself.The game continues and I start failing. I am angry, tired and alone.
The Perfectionist, we all know one. The one who is always critiquing others, the one who is always complaining and the one who seems happy but is rather caught in the cycle of perfectionism. The dictionary calls Perfectionism to be a state of flawlessness. Psychology calls it a recipe for disaster.
To be perfect is the quality that helps us set goals, achieve our objectives and in the process make us successful. When this need for perfection crosses the line from tasks to life, the problems start. Finishing a school project to get the perfect grade is very different from living a perfect life.
Humans are a complex matrix of delicately balanced imperfections to create the perfect and unique YOU and that’s how our life is, full of imperfections. So when we try to make it perfect we add this unknown stress on ourselves that it eventually leads to unhappiness.
Today, we live in a perfect world that is covered with a myriad of filters. These filters omit the blemishes and show us the flawless self which is liked and applauded. A 2017 study published in the American Psychology Association Perfectionism is Increasing Over Time claims two factors leading to high level of stress in the young adults of today. First the self imposed need for perfection and second a high level of self criticism. The perceived idea that my social standard is based on how perfect I am. This maladaptive perfectionism is a by product of social media. More likes translates to greater self worth and the reverse translates to low self esteem amongst the teens. The study continues to highlight how we as parents send mixed signals to our kids. We may say “I just want you to be happy and do your best” however our joyful exclaims when another student shows elite success translates to “I just want you to be happy and let’s keep those grades high so you too can go to the elite college.” This indirect parent push to “expose” their child to all opportunities, and then in turn measure their self worth by the success of their child puts undue pressure on the kids resulting in unprecedented high levels of anxiety, depression and eating disorders to name a few.
In today’s world we are constantly looking for goals and results. In this process we are losing our sense of wonder and enjoyment. In this race, yes we do achieve but we forget to enjoy. We forget that humans are a part of nature and nature has many imperfections. No two apple trees grow the same and yet in an orchard they are so perfect.
Imperfections are a necessity. These imperfections remind us we are human. Nobody is perfect may sound cliche’ but it is true. Imperfections are different and they stand out. They make a painting unique, they are unexpected and keep the surprise and awe alive in the world. Imperfections allow us to try again. The mistakes make experiments possible.
If we did achieve Perfection, where would we go from there?
Imperfection, you are intelligent too, have stories to tell and mysteries to solve and yet you gave me opportunities and taught me to try again. You told me that Perfection will always chase me, and it is upto me to run in the race or sit it out. You taught me to sit it out. Imperfection, you allowed me to breathe again, live again.
I crave intellection
I accept objection
I demand reflection
I resist correction
I am Imperfection
Embrace me
Celebrate me
Together we will be Imperfectly Perfect!
The Japanese art of Kintsukuroi, recreation of a broken piece of pottery with gold to actually highlight the scars to show that the imperfections make the pottery more beautiful that it was originally is a beautiful reminder of how you can take your imperfections, own them to make a perfectly unique YOU.
Life I believe is full of Imperfections. It is these little daily imperfections that culminate at the end of a day to make a perfectly beautiful life. That’s how my world is. It’s filled with shades of bright vibrant reds to melancholy yet calming blues.
Let us Kintsukuroi our world. Take the imperfections and make your world Imperfectly Perfect.
