This blog is my sanity space and it has been incredibly hard to keep it going. Many factors played into this and I can blame it on many different things, but at the end of the day it was me. It was me that was processing a gamut of emotions that have been flowing through now for 2 years. Emotions that have me jumping with joy and then those that have me in tears and somewhere between the spectrum; life happened.
28th December, 2022 – we took flight and headed for a family vacation to Big Island, Hawaii – Pictoblog coming soon! – I loved the sound of the ocean, as a self taught artist, I know the magic of blue and all it does to our neurons, the warm touch of the sand relaxed the muscles.. my favorite being the sand shifting under my feet as the wave pulls away and yet there was something that made me very wary of the beach. The strength of water, the never ending depths of the ocean and the simple truth that the ocean is always changing was always pulling me away from my calm zone and then I had to remind myself to come back.
This oxymoron of a vacation was just what I needed to reflect through – I wrote on restaurant receipts to Post it notes.. I started unbundling my thoughts.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
– Aristotle
1/1/2023 . I made the effort to wake up early – The solo early morning in the Lanai with the meditative sound of the ocean waves helped me unravel the truths and learnings of 2022.
Truth 1: Despite the ebb and flow of tears, the year 2022 has been a year filled with incredible blessings. End of 2019, I realized it was time for me to put some extra effort into my career part 2 – during this time and continuing, I envisioned myself in a role and in August 2022, that role manifested itself and it was Pronoia coming alive. I found a new job, went back to college and the classroom is my safe space. I work hard to ensure it is a safe space for my students too.
Learning 1: This manifestation proved it to me that Pronoia is real and we just have to keep believing.
Truth 2: Pre-Covid we wanted exclusivity, during Covid we needed inclusivity and post covid we want inclusive exclusivity. To Include or not to include is a phrase that i hear often both in my personal and professional world. In theory we all agree. In practice we all differ. In the personal space, to me a village that supports each other beyond their own selves is one that thrives and smiles. As a person, I am either all in a friendship or all out – the modern day as needed or as per the moment need friendship has never been my style. I can either live in a village or not live in it. To me, a village comes with the good, the bad and the ugly – if we choose to live in it, we choose to accept it all. That’s just who I am and I have tried hard in 2022 to change that, but couldn’t do it.
Learning 2: This is MY way of thinking. Doesn’t have to be everyone’s.
Like my husband says – there are Billion + people in the world, and there are Billion + opinions. I have learned that many people choose to visit a village, and only stay if it fits into their timeline – I am learning to adapt to this style.
Truth 3: Logic says people can share each other’s experiences and avoid making the same mistakes, life says – they need to make those mistakes before they can learn.
Learning 3: Say less.
Truth 4: Cooking, Art and Writing continue to be my meditative practices.
Truth 5: The mountain protects me and I can close my eyes. The ocean keeps me alert.
Learning 4: I need to continue doing these irrespective of it all – so experiment more in the kitchen, more art and more writing.
Learning 5: I am a mountain person, but the family loved the ocean. So yes to more ocean vacations.
2023 – I welcome you with open arms and the request to give me space to ReWrite and move forward with the learnings of 2022 – Pronoia is real, Say Less, Practice my meditation, The Village will evolve, and more ocean time for the family.
