love – Shilpa's

The epitome of Feminism!

India the cradle of human civilization, the country of mystic and spices, is also the country of myths and more myths. . Myths, legends, and folk tales is how we transfer our culture and value to the next generations and India has a myth for every moment in life 🙂 These myths as unscientific as they may be, are at the core of Indian culture. They ground us, and ensure we stay true to our uniqueness. India is an oxymoron. We have MOM who sends a satellite to Mars and then we have the MoM who continues to follow centuries-old myths. One such unique myth that brings forward the blend of a woman’s sensuality and strength is Karwachauth

Karwachauth – simply explained is the Indian festival of absolute fasting by a wife for the long and healthy life of her husband. In ancient India, girls got married at a very young age, there was no time to enjoy childhood or flaunt the youth, so where does one go when one misses their family; you find a fellow sister and share your thoughts. Soon this became a day when the women in the village congregated in one place and celebrated each other through prayer and worship. They fasted for their husbands not because they were submissive, but more because the myth of Savitri and Sati has taught them the power of a wife’s faith. A faith so strong that it defies the Gods themselves. A faith that teaches them to believe in their strength and become the strength of their husbands. They celebrated the strength of womanhood and gifted each other trinkets to remind each other that there is always a friend somewhere. If this is not feminism at its best, then I don’t know what is. It’s ancient India’s modern Lean In movement.

It’s all about perspectives.

Modern India calls it being servile and submitting to a regressive culture where the wife is nothing but a thing of beauty. I respectfully disagree with all my fellow feminists who feel this way. India is one of the few countries that celebrates women’s power and if that power comes with curves and glamor, more power to the women of India for they know how to ride a bicycle wearing a saree.

I fast, because not everything in life is about equality and men bashing. Men put a smile on our faces too, they just don’t fast. I am sure you have heard the age-old adage, way to a man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

Karwachauth is about a wife’s faith. The wife, who knows that she is the foundation of her home. The wife who knows that fasting is just one more way to continue to make her will power stronger. It’s about the wife who doesn’t care about being labeled, the wife who is only interested in the continued companionship and love in her life.

Karwachauth – it is about celebrating womanhood and sisterhood. It is about celebrating all women and reminding ourselves of how remarkable we are.

Karwachauth, It’s the epitome of feminism.

Love Your Girl Friends.

Born as yourself, you became a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a wife and a mother. You are no longer yourself. You are now a woman. Woman, you are always evolving. You think you are lost, because the evolution keeps changing you. True, you are. There are days, when you miss yourself. Days when you don’t know what your favorite food or color is, because you as pure as the first winter snow have absorbed and taken it all in. They say, evolution is the way of life. Nothing can stop it and yet you want it to stop so you can discover yourself again. But why? Why do you want to discover yourself again? Why not discover this new evolved being? Evolution is not bad, for it gives you a chance to improve again and yet again. You are not stagnant. You are alive for you change every day. You bend, twist and conform to the mold and yet you are supple enough to spring out of the mold when you no longer deemed it fit.

Woman, you love unconditionally. You tore to come into this world. The world applauds you for you are the cradle of civilization. Without you there would be no world and yet, the same world ridicules your decision to feed and not climb the ladder of ambition. You continue to love, ask no questions and love more. You love the parents who held your hand and taught you to stand tall, you love your sister for she is your confidante, you love your brother for he protects you always and you love your friends for they share your tears and smiles alike. You then found a man and you felt complete. You are faithful. Temptation is not your weakness. You are honest and loyal. You fight for your world and make him the king of your little kingdom. You continue to walk hand in hand and you tore yet again to bring life into this world. The world kept evolving and so did you.

Today, as you watch the world go by: Woman, you yearn. You yearn for your friends. You miss the mud puddles, the lunch boxes, the pillion rides, the secret diaries, the hushed whispers, the coy smiles, the side glances and yourself.

Yes, you miss yourself.

Woman, you are smart. “You know the loneliest woman is NOT the woman without a man, but the woman without a close woman friend.” You know you need your sister friends to laugh and cry. You know you need them to sustain. Why did you let them go? You realize that you made time for ambition while your friends waited. They could wait no loner and left you to enjoy the view from atop the ladder. You look down and you see no one. You have everything, and yet you feel you are missing. You take down the old chest and pull out the secret diary. You look at the pictures and the smiles, you pick up your phone and pray someone picks up the phone. The phone rings and you hear a voice. You smile. You are in love again; in love with yourself.

Today, you love your children more. Their questions don’t confuse you. Their needs don’t tire you. Today, you are filled with gratitude for a man who lets you be. He notices the smile and smiles back. Today, you realize you have your friends back in your life. Friends who listen to you for hours, friends who make time for you, friends who scream in joy for your success, friends who giggle at your silly anecdotes on life, friends who tell you it’s going to be okay. Today, the giggles, the smiles, whispers and the diary is back.

Today, you realize your girl friends make you better. They empower you. You promise yourself to never let your friends disappear again.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my girls out there!

Unconditional Love

Like, Love, Compassion or is it; Like, Passion, Love and Compassion? Such are the questions popping in my mind. Why? Fickle is the mind and fleeting are the thoughts.

What do you think?

Lets start with the basics, like vs. love. How do we know whether we like someone or love someone? As a mom of a teenager, this question has been answered way too many times lately, and here’s what I think. Like is more about just hanging out with a person. It is the “getting to know” that person and more often than not, likeness often fizzles away for the slightest disagreement or a silly pet peeve. Like is when we make a concious effort to say the right thing and make our best appearances because we don’t know what the other person thinks about us.

Love on the other hand does not care about appearances. Love is much deeper. Love does not have the upper hand, love willingly says sorry. Love is about knowing how she twitches her nose or how he flings his hair. Love heals and yet hurts. As a general rule, I think when we love someone, we focus on the face – we know every expression like it was our own. So going forward, be it a friend, a child, a parent or a romantic interest; focus on the face, the mutual gaze defines the difference, and when the gaze is right, you will know. A talented friend recently told me, Love is also about action. The three little words, “I love you” are hard to say and once said need action as a constant companion. The tiny gestures that tell others, Yes, I know your likes and dislikes is all that it takes.

The emotional spectrum that starts from like, moves on to love, where does it go after that? Does it end with compassion and where does passion fit? Passion is the tricky one.

The problem with the word “passion” is that it is often tagged to love and then it’s all about desire and lust. But I think there is a purer side to passion. Passion to me comes after love and before compassion. It is the right love that gives one the passion to be and live. Passion to do what one believes in. When love is not right, the same passion takes a negative turn. Passion positive or negative is about self; it might be a desire or an ambition.

Compassion on the other hand is selfless. Compassion neither needs a relationship nor has any expectations of favors being returned. It is impersonal.

Love, has expectations. Yes, we may say that a parents love is unconditional, but is it really? As parents we may not demand a return, but in the deepest crevices of our heart, hidden under our aspirations and dreams is the tiny expectation that yes, they will return the gesture. It is the expectations that cause the heart to ache, it is the expectation that causes arguments, and it is also the expectation of I before We, that sadly can end it all.

Going back to the spectrum, how does love move to compassion. Took me half a life to complete the spectrum, but after I reached out to all my experiences,

I now know compassion is simply unconditional love. Compassion is the pot of gold at the end of the emotional spectrum.

This Valentine day and beyond, love unconditionally.

: Love comes in all shapes and colors. Don’t judge it.