Academic Robots

7.55 am and I am upfront at the stop light on Blacow and Grimmer Boulevard. In front of me I see an ocean of human faces passing through the light to go to their school. A school that I honestly believe does believe in the potential of its students, encourages them to dream, play hard ( the school has 50+ sports teams), have fun and yet all I see is an army of academic robots. Their faces are expressionless and every one of them is looking for something on the road. Why are they all looking down? Why aren’t they talking to each other? These are teens, they are supposed to be laughing, chirping, goofing off on the road and just being teens. Instead they all look sad, just plain sad.

Today is the first day of the Indian festival Navratri and this was definitely not the post in mind, and yet the image of these lifeless robots crossing the street is so vivid, that I cannot write about any thing else. How and when did the chirpy kinder kids grow into these stressed out young adults? Kinder starts at 5 and high school starts at 13/14; we the brilliant adults have managed to suck the life out of our most precious ones in just 6-7 years. Amazing!!  Why did this happen?  Is it their fault? Definitely not. They have only been on this planet for a few years. I blame my generation, no not the grandparents, but us, the current parents. We have completely messed it up for these kids. Our dreams, our aspirations, our fears, our joys; we impose it on them.

In the name of success, we push them to succeed in tougher courses, without realizing that our definition of success may not be theirs.  Why does one have to do something hard to be considered successful? Why is simple not enough anymore?

In our desire to make the kids smart, we have made them so smart that they are now afraid to cry, try or avail for help. They are afraid, very afraid of failure.  

Parent time has been replaced with tutors. Do we as parents even realize that no tutor will be as vested in our children as ourselves. Why are we working so hard? Maybe just so we can pay the tutors and then gain the bragging right for their success.

We blame the increased cost of everything. Yes, I agree life is expensive now, infact very expensive, but that’s not the child’s fault, again it is our generation that made the economy of today. The kids did not ask for million dollar homes and expensive cars, we did.

The vision stays with me and this Navratri I pray for the sanity and the safety of our kids. May the goddesses give the kids so much strength that they are able to make this world a better place. A world where we stop running in the Maze looking for our Giver.

Mother’s Day is Over… What Now?

To be a mother is a choice, and it’s a choice she makes every time she puts herself aside to see the smiles of her own. She knows they came through her but not for her and yet she lives for them.

What kind of mom are you? The hyper one, or the over dramatic one or are you the famous helicopter mom, oh wait are you the one who is always busy and then you do find time to judge or maybe you are the kind gentle soul who puts everyone before you. It doesn’t matter because today the world celebrates you, The Mom.  You get showered and pampered with gifts and hugs galore. Today you are a queen, and the CODES are all correct.

CODES, yes CODES. There are CODES to keep a mom happy and I stumbled upon them while researching on neuroscience. Why neuroscience is a subject for another blogpost, for now, let us focus on the CODES for a happy Mom. 

Interestingly enough, most of human behavior comes down to 5 neurochemicals – Cortisol, Oxytocin, Dopamine, Endorphins and Serotonin; collectively and lovingly called CODES.

Cortisol – Your Mom and you don’t want excess of Cortisol. This is a hormone that’s released when the body is stressed.

Oxytocin – lovingly called the cuddle hormone is released with a hug, a kiss and all the goody warm feelings. So yes, both you and your mom need plenty of this.

Dopamine – This is your reward for discovering something new. It could be cooking a new recipe, listening to a new song, and so forth. And yes, we need this too. Discovering keeps life interesting and moving forward.

Endorphins – Endorphins get released after you exercise/or any physical activity. That high you get after running the 5K, yes that’s endorphin high, the good kind of high. We all need the activity to keep our hands and legs moving without aches and pains.

Serotonin – Is the reward for helping others, feeling good about yourself, making a positive impact on another’s life. Generally every time we make an effort to stay in touch with others and get a positive result, we get rewarded with Serotonin. So yes, call your mom often, a text, a phone call, a card, a FaceTime video – anything, just keep in touch with the fellow human beings and most importantly your mom.

She doesn’t need stress, so don’t do anything that is against her values. You can disagree with her, but give her the hug she deserves.  Encourage your mom and yourself to try new things. Challenge your inner self and take a step towards a path unknown. The charisma of the unknown will yearn for more and keep you moving forward towards a healthier physical self and finally stay in touch folks, and I mean actually pick up the phone and call your mom, call your friends, call anyone you wish to be in touch with. If they say, they are too busy and forgot to call you, that’s ok, let them be busy because you got your CODES going for yourself and hopefully they will find their CODES too. 

Tomorrow we will share stories of what we did on Mother’s day and how special it was. As we share our glories, let us not forget the mother who struggles with infertility or the single mom who worries about tomorrow.

Let us hope they will find their CODES and embrace and celebrate themselves. Let us also hope that our loved ones will remember their CODES and help us bask in the warmth of today. 

Today was Happy Mother’s Day. Let the remaining 364 days be Happy You Day. 

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