WOW… 15 years, seems like yesterday, when you were so fragile, so dependent and yet so strong. Every day you defied the conventional and found your own way. Yesterday, what seemed like an intractable adamant behavior is your strength today. This persistence and perseverance will help you chart your path. Thank you for using your strength to break open the box and actually think beyond the box. You and I have screamed at each other, called each other names too, but at the end of the day, we never forgot to say Good Nite and that one moment defines the bond. Let’s always keep it the same.
Today you are 15, and I think old enough to make some life goals. From my experiences on this planet, I recommend two. 
You may or may not choose them, and that’s okay. However I do hope you use my learnings and experiences of 45 years to make your own judgement calls. The first goal is to believe in Pronoia. Pronoia is the belief that every moment the universe is working to support you and help you live your dreams. The second goal is to “Be Unfuckwithable.” Before you say WTH mom! (in your head only :)), read this carefully. To “Be Unfuckwithable is a state of mind when you are truly at peace and in touch with yourself and no negativity can touch you.
I am still trying to achieve these goals. I am confident you will do a better job at understanding and applying them to your life, than I have been able to. Here are 15 ideas to get you started on your journey. Why 15? Well, because you are 15. Aren’t you glad, I am not writing this on your 21st birthday 🙂 YES, you have to read all of it, please.
- It’s your choice and there is always a choice: In your journey from a young adult to an adult, you will find biases, prejudices and times when life just doesn’t seem fair, or you may even come across people who don’t like you for no fault of yours. At this point, you have a choice, you can either take that unfairness and sulk about it OR look life straight in the eye and say “bring it on.” Use that energy to play your best game, so life has no option but to respect you.
- Karma: It’s real. Believe it. Your thoughts are your karma. Think positive and try to look for the best in every human being. We are all a product of our own experiences. Those who seem bitter are carrying the baggage of pain and not letting go. Give them time and space to reveal their happy side to you. Until then, keep smiling and think positive. Positive thoughts attract positive energy. There are no mistakes in life. As cliche’ as this sounds, it is true. Every mistake you make, every set back you have, is life’s way of sending you back on the right track. Having said that, it is also true, that there is very little room for mistakes in the grown up world. So, while it is okay to take risks, make them educated risks and do your best to not make silly mistakes.
- Never settle for the path of least resistance: The truth is, the more you sweat the luckier you get. There are not short cuts in life.
- Attitude: You know that “Attitude is everything.“ Right! From the moment you step onto that court for warm ups to the day you step into a room for your first interview. Your attitude, your body language decides your success. The audience might give you a few minutes to warm up but the world will give you 5 seconds and make a judgement on who you are. So always remember, “Attitude is everything.”
- Never take support for granted: There will always be those who believe and support you even in your weakest moments. With time, very often this support becomes a part of our being and we stop paying attention to it. We start focussing on those who push as away. You are a young adult now and it is a good time to remind yourself to be very careful of this mistake that many make. NEVER take those who support and love you for granted. The support of a teacher, the respect of a coach, friends, family as obvious as they may seem, these are privileges denied to many. Always acknowledge and honor these privileges with humility and honesty.
- Emotional Intelligence: Unfortunately this is not taught in schools, so here I am to impart this wisdom 🙂 Remember that day, when you lost a IHS challenge match because external factors were affecting your performance. You were angry, upset and you felt like throwing your racket on the floor BUT you did not. Right there, at that moment, you showed a very high level of emotional intelligence. That racket is your partner in tennis. You have the strength, but the racket takes the hit under your direction. Like a faithful friend, that racket swings back and forth with you. Irrespective of the game result, always respect your tools, your partners and your opponents, in both tennis and life.
- Success = Humility + Honesty + Hardwork. You can alway Google the equation for a line, but please remember your mom’s equation of success. It is so unique that Google’s algorithm’s will not be able to find it 🙂
- You may be winning but…. Just like a 7 – love can become a 7-8 on the courts, In life too, there are curve balls that life throws at us in the most unexpected ways. If you can’t hit some balls back, don’t lose faith in life. Life is just acting smart and testing you.Here’ s another secret, Life only tests those, it knows, are capable of taking on the challenge. The others just get it easy and we call them lucky. So be proud that life chose you for the curve ball.
- Always play and keep reading: You know that moment, when your bones are aching and yet you have to muster up all your energy to hit that ball and take home the trophy. That moment when a tiny voice in your head is telling you to shut down, and then there is another tiny voice that is telling you to keep playing hard. The fight between these two tiny voices is life. Playing tennis teaches you grit. Grit will keep you moving forward. Keep reading because there is no problem that someone out there hasn’t written about. It’s reassuring to know that others went through the same treachours path and came out victorious I also highly recommend the book “The Alchemist” by Paul Coehlo.
- Boys can cry: There aren’t too many mom’s out there, who will tell their sons this. But today on your 15th birthday, I am telling you – it’s okay for boys to cry. There is nothing weaker than a man who thinks he has to be strong all the time and there is nothing stronger than a man who has the courage to cry. Crying is the human body’s way to press the “reset” button. In moments of sadness, crying helps us unleash the tensions and relax ourselves. In moments of happiness, crying unloads the emotions and allows us to celebrate. When tears flow, let them flow, it simply shows you are human.
- Sometimes it’s okay to stay put or even take a step back. Remember that tournament in Manteca, where you made a conscious effort to lose a few points so you can save your energy, strategize and come back stronger to win the tournament. You showed maturity, emotional intelligence and the capability to strategize all within a few seconds. It was beautiful. On the courts, you are out there alone. It’s all you. No one else to blame it on. This makes the victory sweeter too, because it is all you. Life is like that too. Sometimes, we want that extra credit, or the spot on the team, but we have to sit out patiently and wait for the right moment to show our brilliance. Be patient with yourself. When in doubt remember there are no short cuts in life.
- Practice makes perfect: The more you play, the better you get. That surprisingly true for everything in life. So never stop practicing. Always remember to “practice like you have never won before, and play like you have never lost before.”
- Time: It’s eternal and invisible. But it’s there. Respect Time and Time will respect you back. It’s true. Try it out.
- Take care of your heart. Remember you are only one and that makes you precious, so don’t give away your heart away easily and freely.
- Be yourself : You are full of life. You are fun. You are smart, You are a wonderful son, an amazing brother, an awesome friend and a stellar human being and yes sometimes You are goofy too. You are You. Don’t change for the world. Just as you are learning the ways of the world, the world too will learn your ways. There is only one you in this world. Celebrate that! Be Unique. Be You.
Happy Birthday Kiddo! 16th birthday may get the glory, 15th is equally special too. You are 15 only once. Make the best of this year. Keep serving life well, because those who serve well, seldom lose.
Daddy, P and I always have your back. We are and will always be your biggest fans.
Love,
Mom.