Busy – Shilpa's

To be a mother is a choice, and it’s a choice she makes every time she puts herself aside to see the smiles of her own. She knows they came through her but not for her and yet she lives for them.

What kind of mom are you? The hyper one, or the over dramatic one or are you the famous helicopter mom, oh wait are you the one who is always busy and then you do find time to judge or maybe you are the kind gentle soul who puts everyone before you. It doesn’t matter because today the world celebrates you, The Mom. You get showered and pampered with gifts and hugs galore. Today you are a queen, and the CODES are all correct.

CODES, yes CODES. There are CODES to keep a mom happy and I stumbled upon them while researching on neuroscience. Why neuroscience is a subject for another blogpost, for now, let us focus on the CODES for a happy Mom.

Interestingly enough, most of human behavior comes down to 5 neurochemicals – Cortisol, Oxytocin, Dopamine, Endorphins and Serotonin; collectively and lovingly called CODES.

Cortisol – Your Mom and you don’t want excess of Cortisol. This is a hormone that’s released when the body is stressed.

Oxytocin – lovingly called the cuddle hormone is released with a hug, a kiss and all the goody warm feelings. So yes, both you and your mom need plenty of this.

Dopamine – This is your reward for discovering something new. It could be cooking a new recipe, listening to a new song, and so forth. And yes, we need this too. Discovering keeps life interesting and moving forward.

Endorphins – Endorphins get released after you exercise/or any physical activity. That high you get after running the 5K, yes that’s endorphin high, the good kind of high. We all need the activity to keep our hands and legs moving without aches and pains.

Serotonin – Is the reward for helping others, feeling good about yourself, making a positive impact on another’s life. Generally every time we make an effort to stay in touch with others and get a positive result, we get rewarded with Serotonin. So yes, call your mom often, a text, a phone call, a card, a FaceTime video – anything, just keep in touch with the fellow human beings and most importantly your mom.

She doesn’t need stress, so don’t do anything that is against her values. You can disagree with her, but give her the hug she deserves. Encourage your mom and yourself to try new things. Challenge your inner self and take a step towards a path unknown. The charisma of the unknown will yearn for more and keep you moving forward towards a healthier physical self and finally stay in touch folks, and I mean actually pick up the phone and call your mom, call your friends, call anyone you wish to be in touch with. If they say, they are too busy and forgot to call you, that’s ok, let them be busy because you got your CODES going for yourself and hopefully they will find their CODES too.

Tomorrow we will share stories of what we did on Mother’s day and how special it was. As we share our glories, let us not forget the mother who struggles with infertility or the single mom who worries about tomorrow.

Let us hope they will find their CODES and embrace and celebrate themselves. Let us also hope that our loved ones will remember their CODES and help us bask in the warmth of today.

Today was Happy Mother’s Day. Let the remaining 364 days be Happy You Day.

Gone is the era when we hoped for some social life, looked forward to meeting long lost friends, or feel the joy of actually sitting down and writing a letter.

“Life is busy, and busy is good,” is the mantra now. From CEO’s to elementary students, we are all juggling our scribbled in calendars. If you are thinking, this is one of those posts, where I tell people to slow down and smell the roses, you are wrong. I am not going to do that, because you have been told that before by one and all.

What I am going to tell you is a little story, and maybe you have heard this story before too. But I heard it for the first time today.

To make a long story short; the children had just come back from school. The older one was a busy guy, he announced that he had two tests and one quiz to prepare for, and also that he was really tired, he wanted a break. The younger one a kindergarten genie, announced that he was also very tired and wanted to rest.

Their mom looked at them, thinking, she is also very tired, maybe she should also rest. It was one of those rare moments when all the planets were aligned perfectly and much to her surprise, she said “o.k how about we all sit down with some popcorn for a snack and watch a show or a short movie.” The kids were shocked and gave each other the glance. Is she serious, they thought. A weekday and she is asking us to sit down and watch T.V, that’s typically been a total no no with her. They just stood there, thinking she is going to laugh out loud and say “Got Ya!” But she did nothing of the sort, she picked up the remote and turned the T.V on.

The kids excitedly jumped on the couch and took their favorite spots, really looking forward to their surprise T.V time.

“This is so much better than a surprise quiz,” said the older one, while giving his younger brother a high five.

And then it happened, suddenly there was silence and their mom had the frustated, irritated look on her face. “What happened?” asked the children worried. “I don’t know, why isn’t this thing working, why is it that when we really want to watch something, this never worked,” she continued to talk with herself.

She went and picked up the phone to call the cable company only to realize the phone wasn’t working either.

To be connected with OR To be connected to. Its a choice!

She tries to log on to the internet to see if the cable company’s website had any information, and of course, the internet wasn’t working either. Perfect! she said. “The one day, that I want it work, nothing happens.”

“Why don’t you text dad and ask him?” suggested the smart 5 year old. She tried, only to realize the Wifi is dead too. Great! There is no way of instant communication, she thought. She tried calling her husband, no answer.

From the time she had picked up the remote to the moment she tried calling her husband, the time lapse was only 7 minutes. And they felt like the longest 7 minutes. She told her kids to go back to studying and their normal schedule. “Why?” said the kids, “if we had been watching a movie, this would be a break, why can’t we have a break and do something else.

” No! She said firmly, I have to figure this out. So off went the kids, while she stood in the kitchen wondering what to do. She looked at the time, 8 minutes now.

She decides to have a cup of tea, and as she was filling up the kettle with water, she decides to go check the Time Capsule. It had a blinking orange light. That can’t be good, she thought. So she got the manual out and read through.

“Blinking orange” meant no internet connection. Great, so the internet was down, which meant no phone, no T.V no nothing.

Her life came to a standstill. She looked at her watch 10 minutes. How does she solve this problem? She can’t google anything. Deep in her thoughts, she dumped the water back and found the quick cheat sheet of the cable company. She read through it, nothing useful. She looked at her watch, 13 minutes.

“Mom, what is the meaning of this word?” breaks her silence. “Why don’t u google it?” she responds instantly. “I can’t. Remember,” quips the son back and “I don’t have a paper dictionary,” he reminds her again. She walks up to her son and tells him the meaning of “archipelago” and comes back to the kitchen.

It happens, she hears the humm, the humm of a new email on your smart phone. With alert ears, a racing heart and trembling fingers she picks up her phone.

YES! she shouts out loud. She quickly picks up the landline, it’s working, she turns the T.V on, its back. “What happened?” asks the 5 year old. “Nothing!” says his brother “Mom got her internet back,” beating her to the response.

“Yeahhh! Now we can watch the movie, right Mom?”asks the little one.

She looked at his pleading eyes and said, “sure, why not?” “Really!” The kids were so excited and super happy. She looks at them all smiles and says to her self, “this is better, I can post the blog later.”

You guessed it right, and I will let you separate fiction from realistic fiction from non-fiction.

But it’s worth thinking, it was measly 13 minutes, did life really stand still for her. No! she chose and made “life stand still.”

It’s yet again, one of those “Imperfectly Perfect” situations.

Lesson Learned!

Category: Busy

Mother’s Day is Over… What Now?

When Life Stood Still !