Dear Teens of the World ….

Dear Teens of the world,

Death is inevitable. It’s a fact. As real as it is, it’s still a tough one to fathom. It cannot and should not be taken lightly and that’s exactly what “13 Reasons Why” does. The movie makes death look simple. It’s not.  My summer started with this movie and I have to say my brain is still rattling with questions. Why was this movie made? What was the intent? What is the message in the movie? The movie is about a teen who struggles to solve the jigsaw puzzle of emotions and finally gives up.

I was an introvert teen and having been bullied in middle school myself I am not insensitive to the feelings and emotions. I understand the loneliness, the frustration, the anger and the helplessness. I went through it all and yet there was always so much to be thankful for. Maybe it was the spiritual environment I was surrounded in that made me think so, and yet it was the same environment I was bullied in, so the effects had to be nullified.

I wish the makers of 13 Reasons Why had focussed on acknowledging the feelings and ways of positively fighting the helplessness rather than ending it.

You can think of me as ranting adult or a parent reaching out to you, either way;  I want you to understand communication is key. It doesn’t matter what the relationship, they all survive on communication. The day communication ends, that is the death of the relationship too. So regardless of how crazy you think your parents are, keep communicating with them. Notice I say communicate, not talk.

I agree, teens know everything. They are super smart and as parents, we know nothing. So talking rarely happens, but communication can still happen. Use texts, notes, sign language – anything that works, use it. The goal is to let us know that you are there and listening. Please believe us when we say “we are not on your back, rather we got your back.”

It is true, this life is beautiful. It has bright vibrant red’s with melancholy blues and yes sometimes the blues are strong. At times like that, it is important to vent out. There is always a way to vent out. Write a diary, call a hotline, go to the school counsellor, scream at your parents; these are all doable and very acceptable methods to get it out of your system. It is however important to remember that WORDS are powerful. Use them carefully. Don’t use negative words, for they bring out more negativity. As an example disliking something is better than hating something. Choose your words carefully.

It is important to understand that good or bad are all experiences. The good is ours and so is the bad. We can’t blame others for our problems. Every problem comes with a solution, and the truth is, the solution is always there, but the fog over our mind makes the problems seem bigger than they are.

Here’s a little secret –  “Keep complaining the problems will always be around you. Stop complaining, they go away.”

Kids, teens and grown up’s alike, think that friends and family are mind readers. We all know we are not. So let’s start communicating with each other and watch these problems go away. Let us share our ideas, our joys, our sorrows and our triumphs.  My dear teen, today we all live a life of smiles and likes. We all  give an illusion of perfect life. There is nothing like a perfect life, we all have our wars to fight. Your misery is not equal to and should not equal to misery for all.  When you cry, do not expect the world to cry with you. Infact, the world will not cry with you. It is in your interest to go to your parents, ask them for some Kleenex and wipe those tears. There is no one as vested in you as your parents, so let them take care of their investment.  When everything seems going downhill, find your balance and look around, there are always blessings surrounding us. We just have to look harder.

Growing up seems like a lot of fun, and yes it is, but this fun comes with a ton of responsibilities. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. You will get your share of experiences and then you will be ready for them. Trying to be a 21 year old at 15 years is not fun. Try and be a kid as long as you can. Enjoy the innocence of your years, don’t be in a hurry to understand why the apple was eaten.  Enjoy the taste of soda and juice, because when you are older the doctors will tell you a glass of wine is okay but juice is not, that is the age when alcohol is okay for you.  Follow your age and life will be so much simpler.

Most importantly, please remember suicide is but a moment of weakness. It has a lasting impact on your friends and family.  You are smart, and the smart get help.  A broken heart, a nasty comment, an unpleasant touch, these are all valid reasons to be angry, don’t be ashamed – scream out the anger and let the world know. You are stronger than you know.

Yes, I wrote this blog seemingly like an expert on life, but be assured. I am not. I struggle with a  lot of emotions myself, and everyday I remind myself “Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react to it.”

I wake up every morning saying thank you for another sunrise and the belief that Pronoia is real and true.

Pronoia; Live it. Believe it.