Category: Uncategorized

To Barbie or Not?

Barbie, it’s just a doll.  You know it, I know it, We know it and yet we worry. Why? Why do we take an adult logic and perceptions and apply it to a toy designed for little girls.  
We, the women are intelligent. We know that no matter how hard we try, it is humanly impossible to have her phyisque. That perfect neck, the toes pointed out and heels that never touch the ground.. come on, it would take the act of god even for the most accomplished plastic surgeon to give that to a woman.  
We, the women sneer at those other women who buy Barbies for their daughter. We talk about how Barbie single handedly lowers and demeans our very existence and yet we crave for those flat abs and put ourselves to the mercy of green juices and detoxifications. 
We undercover the muffin tops only to whisper a hush hush wish for the perfect curve. The long tresses, the flaunting stride and the perfect twirl; yes we have always admired them, but when a doll does it, we scorn and despise. 
We who are doctors, lawyers, engineers, fire-fighters, astronauts, nurses, pilots, police-women, fitness experts, chefs, dentists, fashion designers and so much more choose to shun a doll and probably the only doll that has 150 careers on her resume allowing little girls to imagine and be anything they want to be. 
We the women choose to focus our attention on a plastic doll’s over sized boobs and thin waistline and ignore the fact that the doll has embraced all the traditional male dominated careers and broken the plastic ceiling before the real woman did and then we stretch our vocal chords on how biased the corporate world is towards women and how under represented girls are in STEM based careers.  
Come on ladies, be serious. Do you really think a 4-5 year old focuses on the anatomy of a doll or the fact that her doll is the perfect companion to be anything that she wants to be?  Dolls don’t create women who are anorexic, it is us and the world around us.  
Think about it, when we the women say that Barbie is ruining the self esteem of girls, aren’t we are undermining the female intelligence? Don’t you think your daughter is smart enough to know that Barbie is a doll and not a real human being?  Unrealistic beauty images are all around us, starting from your own friend circle. Come on be honest, I am sure you know her; the one who starves and sweats daily just to slide into THE dress and then waits for the likes and comments to flow in. 
Barbie is the least of our worries. We need to worry about ourselves, the women. 
If your daughter likes pink, let her wear it. If she wants a twirly skirt, buy her one. If she wants a birthday with all the glittery stuff, give her that birthday and celebrate with her. 
Allow her the freedom of being comfortable being a girl. Nature gave her the curves and the dainty look. Grant your daughter the permission to be demure. When she’s ready she will adorn THE lab coat with pride and ease.  

Mysterious Happiness.

This is what we strive for. It is the reason we do what we do. We write tips about it, we write blogs about it and yet we never really pay too much attention to it. A day without any glitches is a good day.  When all goes as planned, we feel accomplished. At the end of the day, we look at the picture and smile. When asked, “why are you smiling?” We answer; because I am happy. 

Where is all this coming from? It all began with me starting to read the book Engineering Happiness, By Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells) 

What is happiness? I am not talking about what happiness means to you. I am asking, what is happiness? Can we define it? Can we design it? Better still, can we create it out of thin air?   

Think about it for a minute, If you had to define happiness in a scientific way, what would that definition be? 

Any guesses? I decided to give it a try of my own: 

Happiness is a state of mind. 

Happiness is doing what we love to do

and so forth… 

But none of the above work for all. They are too subjective. We need objectivity. Trust the enginees to be objective 🙂 

Happiness = Reality – Expectations (Engineering Happiness, By Rakesh Sarin and Manel Baucells) 

So simple and so true.  It’s one those definitions that I read and said, “now why didn’t I think of that.” 🙂 

It’s simple, but it’s not static.  Happiness will increase every time reality is higher than the expectations. This explains why we humans prepare for the worst. We expect the worst, and reality is so much better.. so our happiness is high 🙂 Sadly, the reverse is true too. Every time we expect more, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.  And as I type this  I now realize the brilliance of the age old advise, “don’t expect too much, just go with the flow.” 🙂 

Happiness is dynamic. 

Our expectations change at every stage in life and so does our reality. Let us go back to our teenage years. The reality was what our parents said;  “the more you share, the more freedom you get.” Our expectation was total freedom with minimal sharing, so the happiness sometimes entered negative territory. As soon as we crossover from the famously infamous puberty into the young adult territory, the happiness graph moves back up and reality takes an upper hand.  At this point the expectations don’t really go down, it’s just that as young adults, we too learnt to evaluate all scenarios and prepare for the worst, and so the path to happiness began. 

So is the key to happiness keeping our expectations low? Not at all.  When expectations arise from within they become the motivation to do better than ourselves. On the contrary when expectations arise from comparison with our peer group, we see an upside down smiley face. This is the start of one’s journey towards unhappiness. Comparisons with anyone but oneself, can only lead to unhappiness.  The engineers gave us the equation above, how we change the variables depends on us. As long as we maintain the balance between the two variables, we can assure ourselves of continued happiness.

The truth is, the glass will always be half empty, and you have to make a choice, either you fill it up or leave it half empty.

In a nutshell, happiness can be designed, it can be created via the choices we make. This got me thinking, if happiness is a choice, then how is it that we the intellectually advanced human race never make it a priority. We focus on our to do lists, and make a 5 year plan for life only to end up feeling exhausted at the end of the day. We spend hours dong a job that we are not passionate about and that one hobby that makes us happy, we have no time for. We fear taking the plunge because we have bills to pay. We dream of expanding it all even though we know that it will only lead to more stress and yet we fear scaling it down simply because we fear the expectations the world has from us.  Is the world our reality? If not, then having worldly expectations is a perfect recipe for unhappiness.  

Times are changing. This century is the era of paradigm shifts. Some brave souls are choosing to challenge the conventional expectations and some curious minds are finally putting more thought into the science of being happy. From curious minds creating the Happiness Quotient to the Happiness Scale, there is enough intrigue for the elusive happiness. Philosophers, psychologists and educators continue to wonder about the “why” of happiness.  

The corporate world is changing too. Companies are realizing that the secret to success and increased productivity are happy employees. Enter Chief Happiness Officer . Professionals who are finding ways of bringing positivity back into the otherwise robotic world. 

Take a look at this World Happiness Report, it ranks Denmark, Norway and Switzerland as the happiest top 3 countries in the world. Their criteria; real GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy, having someone to count on, perceived freedom, freedom from corruption and generosity. 

At a country level, the above criteria works. However at the individual level they don’t work for me. GDP, perceived freedom etc etc is all about world expectations. Individual happiness is about individual expectations and individual realities.  Its interesting to note that what the developed world is still trying to measure and understand, Bhutan: a tiny country nestled in the Himalayas and bordered by  success frenzied India and China, has  Happiness measured to the very last detail. Bhutan has a holistic approach that factors in spirituality amongst other soft emotions and can be applied to individuals, families, communities and businesses alike.  

Now if only we could get the gurus to go to Bhutan and see what they do differently, for they not only have a Gross National Happiness, but they are also able to identify in sub categories like extensively happy, narrowly happy 🙂 and plain unhappy 🙁 .

The waves are changing, Google the word “happiness” and you will find everything from blogs to “to do” lists to stay happy.  In my recent trip to India, I was introduced to Happiness Studio by a friend. It’s a novel concept for a country that breathes and chants the mantra’s to stay calm and peaceful. It is impressive to see the paradigm change coming. 

Going back to our equation, remember they are your realities and expectations. Choose them wisely and keep the happiness flowing. 








In remembrance …

My blogpost today was on a Happy topic. As I logged in, realize the date .. 9/11…

13 years gone by and yet the images come up like it was yesterday. I was at work, and I remember my colleague asking me.. what’s your take on it? I asked him “what do you mean?” He asked, “you know, all the bombing etc?”

I thought to myself, do I need to have a take on this? And I realized,  he is THE intern in the company .. the golden eyed kid that everyone loved. The intern that the rest of us interns had to compete with.

I told him;  “I don’t have any take on this. I have dealt and heard about religious warfare ever since I can remember. It is a feeling of violation and annoyance that I don’t know how to put in words.”

He had the quizzical look on his face.   I grabbed my coffee and went back to my nook.

In remembrance of all that was lost and in honor of everyone who is doing their best to make this world a better place I invite you to listen to this talk on TED.com www.ted.com   It’s about how one person chose peace in the most adverse situation. He was taught animosity and yet he found love and friendships. It is impressive and humbling.

Reaffirms the belief that life can spring in the most dire situations.

CHOOSE LIFE! 

India Rediscovered.

Going to India is not a vacation, it is an experience. An experience that moves you emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and sometimes even gastrically.
Taking our trip to India this year was beyond what I could have wished for. It was a trip that allowed us to visit India as a family, it allowed us to visit India with friends and most importantly, it allowed my children to discover India and  make their own observations.
A typical trip back home is about hanging out with the grandparents and eating an assortment of yummies that are a delight to both the tongue and the tummy. This time though, we decided to do it a little differently.  We decided to travel. The destinations were Mussoorie, in the foothills of Himalayas and to Mt. Abu, a hill station bordering the desert state of Rajasthan and the land of Gandhi, Gujarat.  
More on these places in another post, first my undocked thoughts on rediscovering India. 
After twenty two hours we land in India and find our way through the lines and edge towards the exit, the conversation goes;
Kids: “Eww, what’s that smell?”
Me: “It’s India.” 
Kids: “You mean, India smells?” 
Me: “Yup.” 
We then spot the grandparents and we hug, and hug some more and after a debate on why it is still okay for us to push our bags through a storm of people, we find our way to the SUV and drive home. 
Fast forward 5 weeks, we are back in US, we land in US and as we exit, the conversation goes;
Me: “What do you smell?”
Older kid: “Nothing.”
Younger kid: “I am tired, can we just go home.” 
Me: “Exactly.” 
Older kid: “What do you mean?” 
Me: “Remember, when we were exiting the airport at India, you noticed the smell, and I told you it is India.” 
Older kid: “Ya, so?” 
Me: “So, the point is, It is impossible to go to India and not notice it. India moves you in ways no other country in the world can move you.”
Older kid: stays silent. 
Younger kid: “Can we just go home? I don’t see daddy, where is he?”
Me: “Hold on, he is outside those big doors.” 
India moves you. It is hard to visit India and come back indifferent. You are either going to hate it or love it. There is no middle emotion here.  If you have never been to India, the “smell” of India is like the fusion of smog, fresh jasmine flowers being sold on the sidewalk, tea being brewed on the road stalls, cows crossing the intersections and in monsoons the secret ingredient in this vibrant potpourri is the smell of the first rain on the soil that has been heat baked for 3000+ years. 
We drive through the freeways which as my kids observe are very nice and almost like US they tell me.   
The “just like US” freeways 🙂 
We arrive home, get pampered and days start rolling away.  One evening, we were watching the news channel and came the second thought. I realized that while the Indian media covers everything USA,  we in US, hear about India only when a major event is happening. Until recently Apu from Simpsons or Ravi from Jessie were the only thing India, the western kid knew.  Good or bad, that’s debatable. The lack of knowledge of the world around can be the source of knowledge of all things US and hence the country stands tall and proud. The lack of knowledge of the world around can also be responsible for the changing face of the global economies.  
India maybe old, but it is global.  A country where every state is a country in itself has 18+ nationally recognized languages and yet boasts of the largest English speaking educated population.  So fear not, when you visit India, unlike France or Japan, every one there from the cab driver to the corporate executive will be able to communicate with you. 
Our travels included being driven through the mountains and packed megapolis cities. We refrain from driving in India. Why? Well simply because we don’t have the skill set needed. Skill set, yes! It takes stellar driving skills to meander through a myriad of transportation entwined with cows and human beings crossing the road.  For a bystander, it is total chaos. Fight this chaos, and you will be swept away. Flow with the chaos and you will reach your destination.  India teaches one to be patient.  The patience in India has been a boon and a bane. Boon for it has allowed the country to thrive despite a century of slavery. Bane because it has taken the country decades to come of of its slavery mindset. 
The CDC warns you to not eat street food. But then that’s where the flavors are
This is corn being roasted on open fire coals in drizzling rain.
The romance of this experience cannot be expressed in words.
India is a foodie heaven. Indian food is often considered synonymous to hot and spicy. I disagree!  Yes, we like it hot, but so do folks in Mexico or Schezwan. What makes Indian food unique is the amalgamation of different cultures and flavors. From the paleo diet of the Indus valley civilization to the chilli and potatoes introduced in India by the Portuguese, India accepted it all. The Mughals introduced India to the concept of “cooking is an art.” Food in India today is a passionate love affair that has been simmering amongst the exotic spices for centuries now.  Interestingly it offers something for every diet. Vegetarians, vegans, gluten resistant diet, only meat diet, no dairy diet or just plain paleo; you name it and the cuisine has something for everyone readily available everyday in the street food stalls. No need to find expensive restaurants and request customization. As long as you have the guts to try it, the food is there and it is awesome.  

As we wrap up the first phase of the experience and get ready for the second. the third realization comes through, it is still not safe to travel alone in India.  It is sad, but true.  After hubby came back to US, I did venture out on a short vacation with my friends… mommy and kid thing.  Every one who heard had the skeptical look on their face. While the look first confused me, in retrospect I now know why? It doesn’t happen very often in India that 5 moms decide to take their kids on vacation by themselves.  But we did and did well. The key is to use some common sense rules and stay away from trouble and stick with your guts.  

The most interesting and funniest thing happened as we toured the sites of Mt. Abu with friends.. the mommy and kid thing. 

Tired and with kids desperate to use the restroom (or washrooms) we enter Cafe Coffee Day ( Indian equivalent of Starbucks) only to find the sign “Out of order” on the restroom door.  We frown and settle the kids, give their orders and as I was paying the bill, I start a conversation with the cashier. 
Me: “Why is the washroom closed?”
Cashier: “No Mam, you can use it.” 
Me: “But there is a sign..”
Cashier: “Mam, that sign is there so that customers like you can use it.” 
Me: (thinking in mind .. and wondering and then it hits me.) They have the sign there so everyone passing by does not use it. 
It was brilliant. India thinks out of the box. 

India is a country of opposites. It is beautiful, muddy, magnanimous, heartless all in one breath. 
Traveling to this incredible stunning country is a far-fetched dream for the western world. 
Blessed am I for I was born there. 

IPC Essay Competition.

A summer contest was designed to serve only one purpose: Let the kids write. It doesn’t matter how strong ones vocabulary is, the goal was to just write and express your thoughts in words. Yes there were topics given to bring some structure and prizes to serve as the incentive.  I applaud the two kids who made the commitment and kept it too. To keep a promise made to self is key to success.  
The two submissions were for category 3, and interestingly they chose the same prompt: The world through my eyes.   Since this is a public blog, I have kept the names hidden ( not sure of how their parents feel about their names on the internet) but the rest is a copy and paste as they had sent it to me. 
They have very different writing styles, and yet a common theme emerges, the kids want a world where there is less chaos and more harmony.  They want us to leave them a planet that is still liveable so they can enjoy it with their children. I guess there is a message in these esssays for us adults too.  Like the native americans say: “We have borrowed this planet from our children.” 
While I will be mailing them their reward; $50/- Amazon gift certificates each.  There is no bigger reward for these kids but to hear from the readers. Please do take a moment to pause and give  your opinion in the comments below. 

I hope next year there will be more participants. 

Read on and let us work towards their vision of a better planet. 

Submission 1

Grade: 6th
Essay prompt: The World through my eyes
  
Boxing
     The sport boxing in my opinion is dangerous! The sport is very harmful to humans and can damage their body. Boxing, a sport where 2 people fight and try to knock each other out. Is allowed in some countries. I will talk about the reasons why boxing is a bad sport, and should not be allowed.
     Fans can make an argument that the sport will encourage fitness, and gives a chance for people to make money. But there is no doubt that boxing allows physical contact, while encouraging it to their viewers. Kids may see this sport on T.V and start boxing with their friends not knowing the dangers of this sport. Critics believe that boxing is unacceptably dangerous and should be banned. I also agree with these critics.
    Boxing allows crazy blows to someone’s body while fans cheer every time their favorite hits the other. The game allows blows to the head which can cause a concussion or worse. The game encourages the players to knock the other player down. This game is very physical and should not be allowed.
    Professional boxing encourages violence and the concept of becoming rich and famous through physical aggression. I feel there are better ways to become rich & famous minus the violence. This is why in my opinion boxing should be banned.


                                           


Submission 2


                        Finished 6th, Entering 7th (12years)
Category 3
The world through my eyes  
               The World Through My Eyes
Hello, my name is Jerry Joe, and I am from the year 2135. You may not believe me at all, but I have created a virtual time machine that can send text, emails, or anything requiring the Internet to a future or past time. I have sent you this email because I need to warn you about the devastating tragedies that are happening in my time. We neadrathoids (the next evolution of humans) are having an intense war to decide which group (the tech, muscle, and brain team) gets to live in the small amount of land left that has been depleted from global warming. Many innocent civilians are suffering from chemical mutation, lack of nutritious food, mutated animal attacks, and the icy cold water that is creeping upon us with new and terrifying creatures living in it’s treacherous and petrifying waters. The reason I am sending this information to this email at this time is because I recalled from my childhood memories about how many people were interested in entering and paying attention to this event, so if I could win this then I could get people’s attention and show them what to do and what not to do to keep planet Earth a good, safe place.
This world has become such a piece of rubbish in 2135 because of these inventions that we have made that destroys the world but gives us great comfort. For example, cars give us transportation to places quickly, but has a byproduct of producing carbon monoxide. Trees usually breath chemicals like carbon monoxide, but trees are deducing in population because humans are using it for paper. There is a saying I made, “God creates nature, nature creates us, we destroy nature, nature tries to kill us,” Why do you think that all these natural disasters have been happening lately? This is because our smoke-pollution machines that keep us in luxury are slowly destroying the earth and all it’s resources. This will eventually lead to the end of us, which we can still stop. What I would like to happen is when you or anyone is going somewhere ride a bike or walk. So the world becomes less polluted. Also never waste anything like food, water, and electricity. The extra water that drips from the faucet or the spoon of food left on your plate some people would die to get.
 Another reason everyone is dying in my time is because, in 2080, people stop caring about each other, which started the war against the three groups. This war was nuclear, which caused all the atrocious gases from going in the atmosphere starting the mutations of animals, neadrathoids, and the killing of neadrathoids. So, to stop the war from starting I need you to go out of your way to keep helping people. Whenever you help someone, you have to tell them not to say thank you, but keep helping people, and whenever you help someone tell them the same thing.
The last and final way you can help me get my world back to normal is to keep working. In my world people are very uneducated and live of the technology that your are using know. This is because people think education isn’t important and doesn’t get you anywhere in life. This horrible concept started when I was just six, the same year that you are in now. America and several other countries were dropping in test scores, and more people were becoming homeless. I need all the kids, even adults, to keep learning. It doesn’t matter when or where, but always keep learning. This will help you have an abundance of general knowledge always keeping you at your peak.
All of the people that read this essay please follow the regulations I have stated, because it will greatly benefit the future. If you do help my world, the neadrathoids will flourish and thrive, eating healthy food, having as much land as they could dream of having, and best of all everyone would finally work like a well-oiled machine once again. For the kids that are reading this email, you may not want to do this for me, but at least do it for you. Most of you will be living this disaster when you grow up, so if you want to live a happy life, please follow my suggestions.

O Mother Mine.

Hello, Namastey, Hola: 

Hope you are having a wonderful summer and making the best of it.  The blog returns this week and just in time of August 15th – India’s Independence Day. Having just returned from India, thought it would be apt to start the blog with this tribute. Yes I am biased, love the poet, but the poem is also very apt for India.  It was written in 1993, when India was going through brain drain and today it is role reversal. The poet’s vision coming true. Enjoy. 

Happy Independence Day India. 
Oh, Mother Mine
    –   Avinash Verma. 

Oh, Mother mine,
Land of Ancient skies
I remember the days of your gayfull abundance
When you danced with joy in the company of your sons
Oh, how pretty you looked, magnificent decked in gold
Your silken robes fluttered to caress your skin
And beautiful diamonds shone from every place.
Oh, Mother mine,
Now those days are gone
Armies from far away foreign lands
Hearing the tales of your beauty and wealth
Came to plunder your precious wealth
But Mother mine; your heart was pure gold
You gave away your treasures galore
Some came and left, some came and stayed
But you welcomed them all with open arms
Some ridiculed your ways; some loved you dear
But you treated them all with your endless love.
But Mother mine, now you lay in gross neglect,
Your robes are tarnished, your diamonds gone
Your health is foul; your skin is dead
Your sons have abandoned you, for they have seen newer lands
Every day millions leave your shore
In search of lands far galore
The ones, who stay, build houses on your grave
They have forgotten the things you said of love, of honesty and of honor and all.
The land that gave birth to civilization, is today forgotten by all
Oh, Mother they have removed your name from the halls of fame
No longer to travelers flock to your shore
I know you long for your sons in foreign lands
They come to visit you, but only for a while
You rush to embrace them with tears in your eyes, but they turn away
I guess they have seen better lands,
You are too foul for them Mother, you hold no charm
They say you are too old, now, its time to move on
But Mother mine, as now I sit in tears by your side, I realize
Since when has a mother been bad for her child
Is she not but a reflection of her child
This world is strange Mother; I sit here in a daze
As your children blame you for their woes and despair
Oh, Mother mine, cry but do not despair
The lone live child at the end of the warfare, gave birth to a new nation
In the midst of despair there was hope
Thy tears are not wasted; there are some who love you still
You will again see glory days; you will again be alive
The world that mocks you now, will revere you then
Your ways will be understood, your sons will return home
Your love is supreme; it will win everyone again
When we play again, in gayfull abundance,
That day my Mother: I long to see.
– Avinash Verma (1993) 

The Carnival of Friendships.

I am behind in posting the blog. Sorry! Thank you to all who check in with me every Thursday and remind me to keep going.

Last two months have been amazing and very busy. Amazing because a husband-wife team at school decided to become the chairs for the school carnival and asked if I wanted to join the team. They had just one condition, it had to be the best carnival the school and the community had ever seen. Their enthusiasm was infectious and I joined the team.

We then found five new members for different tasks and together the team created the vision: A carnival that celebrates the community we live in.  Our theme: Hawaiian. Come on, its CA, and California does not think beyond Hawaii and Mexico 🙂

Long story short, it was “THE EVENT” of the year. The most amazing carnival the school had seen. After 1000+ visitors and 6 hours of fun and laughter, we took a sigh of relief and thanked our stars secretly for it ran like a well oiled machine.

Personally to me, few things popped out besides the success of the carnival.

First, it is true; leadership can make or break a team. This was a voluntary event and effort. There were no performance appraisals and paychecks attached, yet for the team leadership to hold hands and find solutions was the extra step that walked us to success.

Second, friendships can spring in the most unknown circumstances. I met some new parents in a high stress environment. We all had our targets. Mine was to be the “on-call ATM machine.” Every time an activity got added, we needed more cash 🙂 And thankfully some one up there was watching out for me, cash flowed in.  The tickets team had the target of selling 800 tickets at the minimum. We found two pretty girls 🙂 who not only sold the tickets but did it so efficiently that not a dime was lost.  An event such as this cannot run with 8 pairs of hands, we needed at the minimum hundred pairs of hands to make this happen. In comes our volunteer manager, a new parent to school, she did not know too many parents and yet she made it happen with sheer persistence and dedication.  In addition to this we had team members effortlessly managing the heavy equipments, concessions and more.

Through all this I know I made some good memories and found some good friends. I hope they feel the same way 🙂

Last but not the least, realized that community is an amazing thing. When tapped the right way, it comes together to support and makes the impossible, possible.

That is exactly what this carnival was. When we started the journey, we said to ourselves, we will be lucky if we can sell 500 tickets, we will be lucky if we can find 1 corporate sponsor, we will be lucky if we can find 10 vendors to come host booths. Well, we sold 1000+ tickets, found 3 corporate sponsors and 20 vendors.

The community belief and support motivated us to do more and take it to the best level possible.

Dedicating this blog in honor of the amazing people I have met in the last two months.  
Oh, if you think I am bragging.. you know what they say, “if you’ve done it, it ain’t braggin.” 

Be the “Aloha” you wish to be!

The C word!

I am not talking about the 174th episode of House or the words our kids are forbidden to say. I am talking about the new C word.. a word that I have been hearing very often for the past year now. It is what the doctors call the uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in our body.  Abnormal cells, what are they anyway and quite honestly I don’t care. 
I am just tired of the C word occurring in the lives of people I know. It’s been an ongoing process for the past year now.. every two months I find out. Good, honest people. People who pay their bills, say their  prayers, work hard, love hard and laugh out loud so often and yet they have to deal with C word called Cancer.   I just don’t get it. 
This blogpost is dedicated to all those who are fighting this disease, with two people I know in particular. A cousin and a friend. More than reading this, I want you to keep them and their families in your prayers and I am hoping that with the collective global prayers, the gods of the world will be forced to wave their magic wands and make this disease go away.  
If you are wondering, Yes I do believe Santa Claus. 
To them who are fighting, all I want to say is: 
You are rare and unique
You inspire me daily
You make me laugh with your funny posts and messages
You are full of energy and radiate positivity like no other I know. 

I have no doubt that you will conquer this with your sheer drive
I know for a fact that you will thrive. 

It is a fight I know, but you are strong and your energy is limitless. Cancer cannot touch your soul, it cannot cripple the love around you, it cannot change the friendships you have built and it cannot take away your courage and strength. 

ALWAYS REMEMBER You are going to Live to Win!  

A Summer Contest.

Today’s blog is a summer essay contest.  
Calling all kids ages 5-12 who love to day dream or think out of the box. You DO NOT need to be an A+ writer to write this eassay. This blog really does not care about how strong your vocabulary is. The only requirement is stick to the theme and have the correct grammar and spellings. 
Before we go further, I do want to clarify that I am not doing this to encourage my kid to write more. In the world of volunteering, I am often faced with the situation where folks think, the effort is so my kids can benefit. It is quite the contrary. If anything, my kids get the tail end of it all. My younger one is too young to write an essay, she might draw. The older one is doing relatively well in writing and he may not be in the top 2% of his age, but is definitely in the top 10% and we are happy to see him thrive.  So this is not for my kids alone. In fact I am not even sure if they will participate. If they do, I promise their entries will be judged by others and not myself. 
Why I am I doing this? The idea came to me last nite as I was chopping cabbage for the salad. Funny how and when ideas creep in. But I fell in love with the thought, ran it by my trusted partner and here I am posting it online. 
The idea took shape last nite, but I think it has been brewing in my head for 7 years now.. ever since I started volunteering in school.  The more I volunteered, the more I realized of the lack of enriching programs for kids who are not exactly what the academic world calls A+ students. All clubs, all contests are geared towards kids who can read, write and add well.  What about those who have brilliant ideas, but don’t have the best writing skills or can’t add fast enough? Don’t get me wrong, I do understand the need for parents wanting their kids to succeed and do as well as the neighbors child and if possible, do better, but in all this, I see a whole population of kids being left out. 
So, this is my two cents to provide an opportunity to kids of all shapes and talents. If you know of a child who has some amazing ideas, creativity but is shy to express it, then encourage them to send in an entry.   The contest is also open to all A+ students too.

The judging is for creativity and out of the box thinking. There are no points for high vocabulary words 🙂  

CONTEST GUIDELINES: 
1) A child can participate irrespective of how good or not good their writing grades are. 
2) Age limit 5-12.   If he/she is 12+ but not 13 yet.. that’s okay too 🙂 If he/she is just finishing up 6th grade and entering 7th.. they can post in the Category 3. 
3) No high vocabularly words necessary. I don’t think people should be penalized because they didn’t memorize the english dictionary in their schooling years. But yes correct grammar and spelling is needed because in today’s world it is as easy as doing a grammar and spell check. 
4) The essay can be handwritten or typed.  If handwritten, please email a clear legible scanned pdf copy.

No poems. I wish I could.. but unfortunately elementary kids are not trained to read or write poems and there are few who have a natural talent. It would so be unfair to others. 

ESSAY PROMPTS:  Please note these are PROMPTS and NOT TOPICS. The child can title their essay as they please.   Choose ONE prompt. 

Submit all entries to: bloggingtale@gmail.com
When submitting an entry,  In addition to your name, a contact email, please state the grade and essay prompt in the top right corner.  
I) The world through my eyes. 

II) If I could change two things in the elementary school, they would be… 

( Try not to think about technology, books, libraries, PE etc.. think out of the box. If you had the opportunity to re-design the way schools are, the way teaching is done .. what would you do?) 

III) Technology, parents and me. 
JUDGING CRITERIA:   The ideas can be fictional. If they are.. try to lead the reader towards understanding how this day can be a reality soon. 
For instance, if you dream of a world where people live for 200 years, it may not be a reality today, but it is definitely possible.  If you dream of a world where people will go back to being monkey’s.. that is a little too fictional. But a world where a catastrophic element can wipe of out the entire human species, and the earth regenerates itself – that is possible. 
Out of the Box thinking : 80%
Grammar/Spelling : 20%

JUDGES: Total three. They might be HS students or adults. Will post names once I have approval from them. 

PRIZES: 3 prizes $100/- value. One prize each for the three categories below. 

Category 1: K – 1st
Category 2: 2nd – 3rd
Category 3: 4th – 6th. 

DEADLINE for Submission:  July 31st, 2014. 

Results Announced on: Sept 1st, 2014.

Feel free to pass this on to any student you know and would like to participate.  There are no geographic boundaries. So if you have a nephew in India, that is perfectly fine too.  Technology has reduced barriers, and the prizes will be sent across too 🙂 

Looking forward to reading all the amazing ideas the younger generation has. 

25 and counting joys of Motherhood.

As Mother’s day approaches, and I hear the repeated question, any plans for Mother’s day?  I decide to pen down a few myths that were shattered and few realities that were learnt in this journey called “Motherhood.”

1.  The phrase “sleeping like a baby” does not mean sleeping peacefully. It means waking up every few minutes. 

2. When a baby cries, yes by all means look at the check list the doctor gave you; feed, burp, change diaper.

Baby still crying: Rock him, take him for a walk in the stroller.

But baby still crying: Call the doctor and go down the check list.  Baby continues to cry. Doctor says “its okay sometimes they have to release the energy.”  You are thinking, seriously, he’s been crying for a while now. And then the light bulb turns on and you hold the baby close to you and lie down on the bed. Magically the little one stops crying and you both sleep.

For your baby: YOU KNOW BEST.  Listen to the maternal instincts. It is nature’s gift to every new mom.  

I salute this mom who listened to her heart and not the doctor: A mother’s touch defies Science

3. “Colic” is a word that pediatricians do not like. Why? Because they don’t know why it happens, or how to stop it.  Hang in there.. it takes any where from 10-12 weeks, and the colic switch will turn off. Until then .. just hang in there 🙂   Just as an FYI, white noises work like magic for colic babies.

4. Some where around 3 months, your baby will give you that look. The look that only you will understand,  it will be the confirmation that “yes I recognize you Mom.” Cherish that look for it will warm your heart for years to come. 

Think like a baby:
Spilled milk is definitely worth a cry

5. Every time you are on the phone either a bowl of cereal or a cup of milk will fall on the floor. 

6. The baby is a toddler now.. all problems solved for its an independent age. But wait, there’s potty training.  If you have a boy, look before you go for boys cannot aim. So stock up on wipes, cleaners and gloves. You will be cleaning a lot.  If you have a daughter, stock up on scented hand soap and lotion.

7.  Yippee… No more diaper bags.  You go shopping for a pretty purse, only to realize it does not hold the mini first aid kit, the sippy cup, the small snack, your wallet etc. So Instead of finding a purse that works like a bag – Find a bag that works like a purse. 

8. Band aids: yes the jumbo packs are a cost saver.. but they are plain old boring band-aids. Character bandaids make the tears go away faster. Invest in them. 

9. Everytime crayons, Playdoh, bubbles go on sale. Stock up. 

10. Empty boxes make the best toys. Stop waisting money on those fancy electronics 🙂 

Wow, the baby is now in KINDER. YIPPEEE…. 

11.  I am so lucky, my kid loves doing homework and is so excited about school… and this changes to “can I just sleep for 5 more minutes. what’s the big deal about getting tardy, it is just a piece of paper,” in one month. 

The excitement of going to school and being a big kid wears off as soon as the reality of being big hits them 🙂

12. Lamaze: you didn’t remember it when you were delivering, but now you are an expert. Use those techniques during homework time,  every time you are scrambling to get to school on time and basically through out the day 🙂

13: Take selfies with your child. You will be reminded of the down hill trend; but 10 years from now, you will be amazed at how good you looked.

The baby is evolving into an mini adult: 

14. “Mom, I am a big kid now, I can do this now.” And then when they really need to do it on their own, it’s a memory lapse and the skills magically disappear. 

15.  Conversation with a miniature adult is more about listening than talking. I am learning this the hard way. His doctor recently asked me. Does he like sharing with you? I said, well sometimes, when he is that mood.. Brilliant answer right ;). The doctor was brilliant too.. he said, well try to find him in that mood .   Jokes apart.. these little adults need a hearing ear. Just keep listening..

16a.  For moms with sons; sprains and fractures are a moment of pride. They will be big babies in your arms, but outside it is all about “Dude, I heard the bone crack.”

Don’t return the crutches, the sling or the splint. Hold on to them, you will need them again. 

16b. For moms with daughters; yes the world wants the pinks to be replaced by blues and browns, but if your daughter loves pink and Barbie, it is okay.  Take pride in the fact that your daughter is celebrating her femininity. Nurture this trait and soon you will have a daughter who can twirl a skirt and  shoot hoops with equal ease.   

17.  The older they get the lesser they care about going to “tourist” spots with their parents. It’s then about discovering the world. Humans are natural wanderers. Let them satisfy the thirst to discover. Take them to places they haven’t seen. Let them see how the world moves without Wifi or how people live with bare minimum. It is these experiences that will help them thrive as adults. 

18. Pick your battles. You will win very few. Pick only those that you know you are going to win. 

19. When something can go wrong, it will. So even though they are older and almost adults, You are still the MOM, so plan and fill in the gaps when you need to.  Murphys’s Law.. one of the few things I heard in school that actually hold true. 

20.  Yes, your child will think you are over-protective or even embarrassing. It’s hard but try not to care. They will come back.

21. Always, always remember to checkin with your girlfriends. If you have a squabble pick up the phone and say sorry.  

22. There will be blah days and the head-spinning days. There will be days when they will forget to ask if you had dinner or not. No matter what, try hard to not go the self-pity route, you are only hurting yourself. The world will keep moving. 

23. You can listen to your doctor, your mother, your mother-in-law, the other perfect moms, but at the end do what you think is best. You will become a mother only by being one. 

24. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, so stop being so hard on yourself. 


25. On Mother’s day your friends will Face book pictures of the amazing breakfast their kids made for them and pampered them.  Don’t judge your happiness by theirs. 

If your kids woke up and asked you to make breakfast, did not remember till later in the afternoon that it was Mother’s day and then asked you what was for lunch. Smile! It is a luxury to have breakfast in bed, but it is a blessing to be able to get up and make breakfast for these beings that you have nurtured with love and care.  Chances are they like your cooking better than anyone, and so never bothered to learn either 🙂 Soon, they will fly away to find their own nests. Until then pamper them. It is these warm and caring moments that they will come back too. 

Mother’s day is not just one day. It happens every day a mother packs lunch for her kids. It happens every day a mother hugs her child. It happens every day a mother makes the wrong go right.

Mother’s day is 365 days of the year. It just so happens that we choose to celebrate it once a year. 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!