Like, Love, Compassion or is it; Like, Passion, Love and Compassion? Such are the questions popping in my mind. Why? Fickle is the mind and fleeting are the thoughts.
What do you think?
Lets start with the basics, like vs. love. How do we know whether we like someone or love someone? As a mom of a teenager, this question has been answered way too many times lately, and here’s what I think. Like is more about just hanging out with a person. It is the “getting to know” that person and more often than not, likeness often fizzles away for the slightest disagreement or a silly pet peeve. Like is when we make a concious effort to say the right thing and make our best appearances because we don’t know what the other person thinks about us.
Love on the other hand does not care about appearances. Love is much deeper. Love does not have the upper hand, love willingly says sorry. Love is about knowing how she twitches her nose or how he flings his hair. Love heals and yet hurts. As a general rule, I think when we love someone, we focus on the face – we know every expression like it was our own. So going forward, be it a friend, a child, a parent or a romantic interest; focus on the face, the mutual gaze defines the difference, and when the gaze is right, you will know. A talented friend recently told me, Love is also about action. The three little words, “I love you” are hard to say and once said need action as a constant companion. The tiny gestures that tell others, Yes, I know your likes and dislikes is all that it takes.
The emotional spectrum that starts from like, moves on to love, where does it go after that? Does it end with compassion and where does passion fit? Passion is the tricky one.
The problem with the word “passion” is that it is often tagged to love and then it’s all about desire and lust. But I think there is a purer side to passion. Passion to me comes after love and before compassion. It is the right love that gives one the passion to be and live. Passion to do what one believes in. When love is not right, the same passion takes a negative turn. Passion positive or negative is about self; it might be a desire or an ambition.
Compassion on the other hand is selfless. Compassion neither needs a relationship nor has any expectations of favors being returned. It is impersonal.
Love, has expectations. Yes, we may say that a parents love is unconditional, but is it really? As parents we may not demand a return, but in the deepest crevices of our heart, hidden under our aspirations and dreams is the tiny expectation that yes, they will return the gesture. It is the expectations that cause the heart to ache, it is the expectation that causes arguments, and it is also the expectation of I before We, that sadly can end it all.
Going back to the spectrum, how does love move to compassion. Took me half a life to complete the spectrum, but after I reached out to all my experiences,
I now know compassion is simply unconditional love. Compassion is the pot of gold at the end of the emotional spectrum.
This Valentine day and beyond, love unconditionally.
- Love comes in all shapes and colors. Don’t judge it.