What does it mean to be a Woman?

What does it mean to be a a Woman?  Have you ever thought about this simple yet confusing question. I didn’t until today. Today is International Woman’s Day. A day when we celebrate the social, economic, professional successes of women. The day also emphasizes on gender parity both socially and professionally. Being a woman myself and the mother of daughter, it is an empowering day, but the question remains, What does it mean to be a woman?

Am I a woman, because I have the gift to bear a child or am I a woman because nature made me so? Who is a woman? In my quest, I asked this question to 3 different What’s App women group that I am a part of and my hope was to find that one common element that connects us all women, irrespective of our social, marital or professional statuses.

The responses left me with more questions.

Majority of the women who chose to respond, connected being a woman to being a mother and having a family.  Audaciously, I asked what about he women who choose not to give birth or those who cannot, what about those women who choose to stay single ; Are they not women?  I continued to ask, weren’t we women before we got married or had kids? Biologically, a girl embarks on the journey of womanhood the day she has her first period. Life of innocence as the girl knew, changes after her first menstrual cycle. So, why do we peg womanhood to kids and family? The question remains.

I look around me and I see women in power at the pinnacle of their careers, I see mom’s pushing the stroller and happily smiling without a worry of their career and I see women juggling and shunting between work and school pick ups and driving away to soccer practice. What is the common factor is all these women?

Woman you are a mystery. Are you the one who uses her magnetism to allure or are you the one who feels complete when men flatter?  Are you the one who takes pride in giving birth to a civilization or are you the one who stands tall because you nurture a generation?  In my opinion, this is where we are confused. This is where feminism goes extreme. We the women call ourselves special and different because we give birth, we nurture, we care, we work and we can do anything that a man can do.  True. We the women can. But by defining ourselves as such, we start this never ending game of opposites.

Man and woman were never intended to be supplemental to each other. They were designed by nature to be complimentary. So why are we always gloating at the qualities. Men work hard too, there are many dad’s out there who are just as good as any mom. Sure men can’t give birth, but that’s just anatomy. Isn’t being a woman contradictory enough, then why do we enter this game of opposites in the name of feminism. Today’s feminism talks about choices. The woman say it’s MY CHOICE. Is it? Don’t misunderstand me, I agree 100% with women empowerment, and women empowerment is about letting the woman make her choices however in this global society called “The world” choices can only be made within boundaries. When we the women fight for our rights, we are fundamentally shouting and accepting that we are not equal. Why do we do that? This is a quandary, why don’t we as women respect ourselves, accept that we are powerful just because we are born as women?

I may be an oddity here, but I think in this race for gender parity we have lost our own definition. Being a woman is not about having a career. It is not about being perfect, patient, caring, nurturing, a child bearer, a lover, a mother or a wife. Being a woman is simply about being YOU. 

If we want to break through the proverbial glass ceiling and create parity, we first must accept ourselves and unite. We must first become less judgmental of ourselves and ask Woman, are you real?   A friend in my XFBF (extended FB family) asked a question, why do we women compliment each other more, while men don’t? Men compliment too, just not the way we do. We, the women call each other hot and sexy. Men compliment each other about the new lawn mower or the outstanding man cave in the basement. Men don’t care about vanity, we do. To me this is nature’s way of balancing things. It’s not about opposites. So this woman’s day, let us stop comparing ourselves to men.  Just as women evolve, men evolve too from a being a son, to a brother, a husband and a dad.  The difference is they don’t forget themselves, but women in their quest to be the great mystical characters we are portrayed to be, forget themselves. We shouldn’t. It took me 44 years to understand this truth, so if you don’t agree with me, that’s okay. Accept that you are a powerful soul simply because you are woman.

I started this blogpost with the question, what does it mean to be a woman?  I went back and looked at my adolescent years, my young adult years and I looked at myself today. The answer was then clear. I was a woman before I met my husband or had kids. I never looked at the men as a reason to find or make myself complete. Sure, the youthful years enjoy an admiration and compliment or two, but that did not define me. On the contrary what made me feel complete was the sisterhood of like minded women. It’s always been about building a commonality and then finding the nurture in it. Maybe that’s why being a full time mom was a no brainer.

Being a woman is to be feminine enough to raise a community and masculine enough to feed it.